Welcome back to the weekly TVF Gossip Girl Round Table, where our panel breaks down the previous night's episode (see our review from earlier this morning).
Below, GG critic Mister Meester is joined by the legendary and incomparable Gossip Guy, TV Fanatic's esteemed co-creator to discuss the Season Four finale.
Our colleague DANdy is back from his Lost Weekend Month with Jack, but will likely take until September to fully recover from that kind of bender. Rough.
It's a two-man show again, sadly, for our last RT of the season:
1. What was your favorite Gossip Girl quote from last night?
Gossip Guy: "When are you going to realize that I had a better life before you climbed up my fire escape four years ago?" Snap yo, V. Good riddance and enjoy Spain!
Mister Meester: OMG, anything out of G's mouth. "I haven't been this bored since I believed in Jesus" was classic, as were her nonchalant references to the guy she was with (and why), and how she accelerated someone's hospice care to score an apartment.
2. Did Chuck and Blair make the right decision to part ways?
Gossip Guy: Yes, Chuck saved Blair's life. Yes, Chuck seems to be maturing. But I just don't think he's dealt enough with his many demons to be ready for any woman in his life, let alone Queen B. Now, do I think boring Louis is right for her? Probably not, but are the princes ever exciting in fairy tell weddings? Eh, who am I kidding, go get married. All I care about is that I get invited on that yacht. Move over, Rufus.
Mister Meester: I think they did, but as I said in my review of the episode, they need it to stick. She's getting married. If Louis was going to get dumped, this was the time to do it. If Chair's games continue any longer, they will not only grow stale, but hurt other people.3. Hardest to believe: The five-second resolution of the Raina/Russell storyline, Serena getting a job in the movies, or Dan's novel getting published anonymously?
Gossip Guy: It seems every week my "harder to believe" also goes to something with the Raina / Russell storyline, so I might as well give it to the silly wrap up of that waste of a season-long arc. Meanwhile, I definitely believe the S storyline. I know I'd give her any job.
Mister Meester: All were too convenient, but the publisher asking "where do I send the checks" killed me. We're expected to believe V would steal Dan's work (which he didn't notice was gone), shop it around masquerading as his agent and land a lucrative deal?
PRINCE HARMING: Will Blair break Louis' heart next season?
4. Who do you most want to see back next season: Jenny, Jack or Georgina?
Gossip Guy: Ooh that's a tough one. I mean obviously not raccoon girl, but way to try and sneak her in, Mister Meester. Very clever. I guess I'm going to go with G. Jack had his hilarious day in the sun, let's see what G can do now that she's teaming up with Crazy Charlie. And no, I don't care if it was an act, it only makes her crazier in my eyes.
Mister Meester: All of the above. I don't know if it was part of the problem, but I personally missed Jenny this season. Jack is great but the small doses we get may contribute to that. Georgina, on the other hand, still has me laughing after last night. More G always equals more drama and humor. Great combination, no?
5: Rate last night on the Vanessa Uselessness Scale (1-10).
Gossip Guy: Didn't I already give V a sendoff? Now I almost feel guilty. Girl is off the show and already got called out in my favorite quote. Ah, who am I kidding? 732.
Mister Meester: At the very least, Jessica Szohr's character came full circle last night, reverting back to the holier-than-thou outsider calling out Dan's sellout ways. 4.
6: Who's pregnant?!
Gossip Guy: Unfortunately, I'm as positive as the test that it's Blair and Chuck's baby. It's Gossip Girl and there's no way Blouis could have a drama-free wedding.
Mister Meester: If it were really Cyrus and Eleanor, as some readers have realistically guessed, that would be the weakest cliffhanger in history, even for the CW. Serena hasn't been with any guys in the recent past, right? So it's got to be Blair. With two potential dads (three if you count Dan, though it's unclear if they had sex), that would give birth to a HUGE story line.
What do you think? Sound off in the comments!