The Bachelorette Review: The Claws Come Out!

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Natalie Getz is a former Bachelor hopeful and the first-ever winner of Bachelor Pad.

In reviewing The Bachelorette for TV Fanatic this season, she brings her unique experience of having been through this insanity, as well as her spot-on commentary on the men seeking Emily Maynard's heart.

Who brought the drama tonight? What comment really brought out Emily's claws? Were The Bachelorette spoilers true to form? Who emerged as one of the biggest d-bags in show history? And who charmed our fair Southern Belle?

Find out in Natalie's review of Episode 5 ...


This episode finally provided us with some serious drama! How much fun was it to watch Emily show us a different side to her? I personally enjoyed watching her show her backbone.

It's nice to see someone be themselves instead of always so damn nice.

I never could tell what Emily Maynard's expressions meant, but after last night I get it now. She doesn't show a lot of expression in her face, and she smiles when she is happy, mad and in awkward moments.

So never mind, I still don't get it and can't read her to save my life. Botox is great and all, but actors and actresses shouldn't be allowed to get it. Or Reality TV people. This week went like this:

Emily's Guys

The 10 worst quotes heard on The Bachelorette this week:

1. Kalon: "Ya, but, you gotta realize that if you end up with her, you will always be on group dates. With her and Ricki." - in response to Jef being bummed out that he has only gone on group dates.  

Kalon knew Emily was going to be The Bachelorette, so why did he even come on the show if he is so anti marrying a single mom? Dating him would feel like a group date all the time as well. Him, his ego and multiple personalities.  

2. Emily: "As you know, I have a six-year old daughter, and I want a lot more kids.  Like, yesterday.  So you better rush it." - to Shawn on their date.

I get that she wants more kids, but this is the first date.  Wow.

3. Kalon: "Everyone else is taking this as a joke, but I myself am taking this very seriously."  - about auditioning for the Shakespeare play.

If I were writing a screenplay, I don't think I could come up with this big of a tool for a character.  It's so much fun watching him make a fool of himself.

4. Travis: "Shakespeare is HUGE in Mississippi. That's pretty much all we do is sit around and read his plays." - on his group date. 

I'm not surprised.  I mean, you do hang out with an egg.

5. Kalon: "We need to get back to rehearsal, (as Emily starts to apologize he interrupts) You can run along" - Kalon says to Emily as he shoos her away with his hand. 

He wasn't even kidding!  He is so concerned about performing!  This. Guy. 

6. Wolf:  "When Doug kissed me it was wet and rough, but it was warm." -on his Shakespearean kiss with Doug.


7. Kalon: "Ya, uh, unfortunately it came up again with a negative connotation. By baggage I meant huge responsibility." - defending himself to Emily.

Again?! It came up again?!  Jeez boy! You are not making this any better on you. Again means you've said it before. Possibly several times before.

8. Kalon:  "I think I'm a stand up guy."  - Kalon on himself.  

So... No. No, you are not.

9. Emily: "He is so smooth and he thinks he can get any girl.  And here I am, falling for it." - her feelings on Ryan.

Emily shows her age of 26 as she allows herself to fall for the asshole!

10. Emily: "I have some tough decisions to make this week as we get closer to the end."  -on who she will be sending home.

How is this hard?! You know it's not hard yet. You still don't know Alejandro, Wolf and Travis's first names.  

The 10 best quotes heard on The Bachelorette this week:

1. Jef: "Kalon is an arrogant, egotistical piece of shit."  -in regards to Kalon knocking Rikki.  

Jef is quite possibly the cutest thing alive.  He is always so calm, yet when his lady is being insulted, it ruffles his feathers.  Good guy!

2. Emily:  "Guys that look like you are usually pretty boring."  -to Shawn on their 1 on 1 date.

3. Emily:  "King Henry kept all of his 8 wives up here. He beheaded two of them. That will be you if you don't play your cards right."  -to Shawn on their date.

Emily has a very dry humor which I love and didn't know she had until this season.

4. Doug: "The last thing I wanted to do today was act.  It's OK... but, really not at all." - about his Shakespeare play date with Emily.

5. Emily: "Kalon needs to chill out and realize that he is not on Broadway."  

Emily had some good one liners!  Everyone thinks she is this sweet, boring girl, but she proved everyone wrong this episode!

6. Emily: "I want to go out their and tear his limbs off and beat him with them."  -Emily after learning of Kalon's harsh words.

I'm going to start using this line.  A lot.  

7.  Emily: "I wanna go West Virginia, hood rat, backwoods on his ass." - on wanting to kill Kalon.

The belle was certainly takin' out of this Southerner tonight. She gave Kalon what he rightfully deserved. Apparently Kalon has a girlfriend anyway according to Erica Rose.

8. Arie: "Ryan is cracking me up, because he is so excited he finally gets to kiss Emily. I'm like, 'dude, it's a play. You are not actually kissing her.'"  - on Ryan's scene with Emily.

9. Emily: "With Sean I don't get butterflies in my stomach, but I get them in my heart."  

This is almost too much for me. 

10. Arie: "I think I may be going home tonight."  

Really Arie? You think she would send you home before Egg Guy, Ryan, Alejandro, and Wolf?

805 Review

Editor Rating: 3.0 / 5.0
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