UnREAL Season 3 Episode 5 Review: Gestalt
Rebecca Eisen
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If it is true, in fact, that "Life is in the journey not the destination," we've been through one hell of a trek to get to the midpoint of of UnREAL Season 3!
It certainly hasn't been easy to watch four of the fiercest women on television employ an eat or be eaten mentality when it comes to the business, the battle, the war, and the game that is ... the making of Everlasting.
On UnREAL Season 3 Episode 5, the tides turn with great gusto, as the lady bosses grab their balls and take the respect they deserve.
Their power plays come in various forms -- with the refusal to eat (some) shit, as a matter of self-respect, in confronting the truth and moving forward despite it, and in rising up against a common enemy.
Together, the UnREAL frienemies aren't just strong, they're f**king unstoppable!
At the start of a new shoot day, Everlasting is off in the wilderness where Rachel does as Quinn asks, selling August down the river. But when Rach overhears Jeremy telling his new girl the August stunt was a setup, she's none too pleased.
Remember in my UnREAL Season 3 Episode 4 Review: Confront, I suggested we hold off celebrating Jeremy and Charlie until we see how Rachel takes their coupling? Well, this is why!
Rachel: I'd stay away from Jeremy if I were you.
Charlie: I'm sorry, I'm not trying to cause a problem.
Rachel: It's OK, I'm not jealous or anything. I'm just trying to help a sister out.
While Rachel's stirring up shit with Charlie, Dr. Simon's looking forMORE shit on Rachel, from Jeremy of all people! You might say the doc gets what he deserves.
Dr.Simon: Rachel and I have a good relationship. She trusts me.
Jeremy: Oh my god, she got to you too! It’s the Rachel vortex. Many a man have been sucked in by that tiny dark force.
Dr. Simon: I'm just doing my job.
Jeremy: Yup, so was I.
After Jay and Quinn are stood up at their Passport to Dance pitch, Quinn's had it with Gary, the network bully.
I have made this network millions of dollars and Gary can't respect me enough to show up for a pitch? Until Gary has time for me, Everlasting is officially shut down. Because there is some shit I will not eat!
Quinn
Once Quinn shuts down production and Gary declares war, Quinn's next move isn't difficult to predict.
With Madison's trust up for grabs, Quinn knows the magic words to get the snake slithering on over to her side.
Quinn: You’re a snake Madison. And it's about time you gave me some venom. I'm pretty sure In all the dick sucking you've done, you've uncovered some state secrets that can help save my ass and yours. So what do you got, snake?
Madison: I did steal the password to his email.
Ohhhhh, that's what Madison did on Gary's computer ... stole his password?! Yaaaaaas!
Related: UnREAL Season 3 Episode 3 Review: Clarity
Once Madison makes up her mind to side with Quinn, because she's "more than just one pilot," it makes for an epic showdown between Quinn the showrunner and Gary, her network nag!
Of course, it's an understatement of gargantuan proportion to say Gary's caught off guard by Quinn's surprise reverse-firing!
Quinn:So you are going to get off my back for the rest of the season. Then we can start with Passport To Dance and I want four other shows in development.
Gary: Well what am I supposed to say to that?
Quinn: Thank you for the opportunity, Quinn.
Gary: Thank you for the opportunity, Quinn.
When Gary realizes his sidepiece double-crossed him, the look on Madison's face says, 'Bet you wish you'd watched my pilot now!"
It's official. Madison is NOT somebody else's bitch!
And as if Quinn wasn't already WINNING, Chet's so turned on by her power-play that he blows off Crystal and bursts into Quinn's office.
Turns out Chet doesn't need Viagra when he's authentically excited, and Quinn's found his special spot.Though Chet's rock hard, begging for Quinn, this is her moment to reject the man who chose a girl of age 24 over a woman of 44-ish.
Chet: I miss you Quinn. I miss you a lot.
Quinn: “I know. But you chose easy.”
Sorry, Chet. No hard feelings. Ha!
It's a HUGE WIN for Quinn, who started out the season jealous of Crystal and her 'real love' connection with Chet.
Related: UnREAL Season 3 Episode 2 Review: Shield
Now she rejected Chet. Ha! Quinn's in perfect position for world (or at least Everlasting) domination. She's in total control of her career and her love life! Bam!
If you watch UnREAL online, you may suspect that things can only go Quinn's way for so long. For now, let's just enjoy this #supergirlpower!
Of course, not everyone was present for Gary's bully beat down.
Though the cameras stopped rolling, the heat between Jasper and Serena is still burning on full blast!
Serena has yet to find out about the bet when she tells Jasper she trusts him completely. Uh oh. They make love.
After August tells Serena that Jasper came on the show for $400,000 to bed her first, the Suitress finally takes control.
At Elimination, not knowing who's lying or telling the truth, she refuses to cut anyone.
From now on, the only rules are the rules I make!
Serena
I know about the bet. By the way, you lost. I slept with the jockey night one!
Serena
Yes, Quinn, we all heard Jasper's balls drop.
On UnREAL Season 3 Episode 4, Rachel confronted her darkness and faced her rapist, and uncovered her dad knew about her assault. Determined to find out why her father didn't do anything back then, she knocks on yet another front door uninvited.
When Rachel confirms her evil mother stopped her dad from going to the authorities, she knows mom drugged both of them so they wouldn't expose her practice.
Related: UnREAL Season 3 Episode 1 Review: Oath
Isn't it obvious what Rachel must do next? Kidnap her father! Bust him out of his own home! Release him from his wife's drug pushing and captivity!
Herein lies my problem with this chapter of the story. Rachel takes her father from his house and moves him into... the grip truck??!! I MEAN... Really?
AND she wants him to live with her there! Put his pottery studio out back! Huh??!
Still, Rachel took control away from her mother and has her father back in her life. What happens with the father-daughter duo going forward remains to be seen.
But you know who's gonna see it? Dr. Simon! All because he's watching Rachel on the camera he put in her truck!
Is the good doctor just doing his job, or might Jeremy be onto something with his theory that Dr. Simon is RG's latest vortex victim?
So, UnREAL Fanatics, we have officially reached the midpoint of the season.
Doesn't it just feel SO good to be SO powerful?
Here's hoping Jay doesn't blow it for the rest of the team!
Will Jay's deal with the devil burn Everlasting to the ground?
Is Chet's love for Quinn back on the table or did she shut it down?
Predictions for the second half of the season?
Comment below!
Rebecca Eisen was a staff writer for TV Fanatic. She retired in September 2018.
