Holy fakakta, The Mandalorian, what the eff did you just do??? And me here, without my face powder and heart pills! I don't even take heart pills, but I'd better start now.
The Mandalorian Season 2 Episode 8 is the most shocking episode by far, even if fanboy predictions may have been floating.
It's the episode most anticipated by major Star Wars fans for two full seasons.
"The Rescue" is shocking, as easter eggs become the narrative. The result is extraordinary and otherworldly.
We not only welcome a young post Return of the Jedi Luke Skywalker -- and R2-frickin-D2! -- into the porridge, but the post ending credits scene is all sorts of nostalgic Star Wars mayhem.
And Jabba's former palace -- now Bib Fortuna's -- serves as a teaser for the upcoming The Book of Boba Fett, which is tagged to premiere in December of 2021.
It's all just too much. But we're getting ahead of ourselves. Let's hit on the moments leading up to the surprise ending.
Without the inclusion of classic characters from the galaxy, The Mandalorian Season 2, Episode 8: "The Rescue" would already be a stellar episode, despite some minor weaknesses.
The Din gang is back, still getting away and accomplishing every mission it sets itself out for. It's again much too easy for the group of warriors to get what they seek to get.
But, by now, we come to expect this and just enjoy the rollercoaster.
In the beginning, Cara Dune shoots that Imperial captain's ear off? I realize now, she does kill him and it's the doctor's ear that's injured.
I thought It was a funny bit, but why not shoot him dead after all the crap he was dishing about watching the destruction of her home planet? Muddled cinematography confuses that "shot."
I thought, "Sure, she's a marshal now, but so? I mean, she's already trespassing and kidnapping; she might as well go for the jug at this point."
The return of Koska and Bo-Katan brings extra drama and danger. Koska still doesn't have much to do, but her getting into little playground spats with Boba Fett adds humor. Plus, we get to watch the two show off mad fighting skills.
Bo-Katan: Moff Gideon is mine! Got it?
Cara: He's ex-ISB. He's got a lot of information; I need him alive.
Bo-Katan: I don't care what happens to him as long as he surrenders to me.
Did Koska just use the word "bivouacked" when asking Dr. Pershing about the dark troopers' location in the Imperial light cruiser the gang is about to conquer? Two-penny word!
Speaking of Dr. Pershing, I expected a little more from him concerning eccentricity -- he's a mad scientist after all! -- and to his overall contribution to the plot.
But were it not for him, the posse would not have received the much-needed intel on the cruiser they were hitting; all's well that ends well.
And hey, those dark troopers are still dumb 1980s Battlestar Galactica looking droidy things. See what I mean about some dumb stuff interfering with the tubular?
Koska: I didn't know sidekicks were allowed to talk.
Boba: Well, if that isn't the Quacta calling the Stifling slimy.
But talking tubular -- the TIE fighter launching sequence was astonishing. Not being the world's biggest action fan myself, the "The Rescue" sports splendor in that department.
All these amazing kick-ass women -- taking no trooper prisoners -- deliver more fun than dining out during a pandemic.
I grew up with awesome women adventure heroes (Wonder Woman, Xena, Bionic Woman, Daisy Duke, and -- duh -- Leia Organa). That was before it was cool and before it was a calculated effort to mandate such characters.
Thus, it's refreshing to see Cara, Fennec, Bo-Katan, and Koska paying homage to those classic ladies of pain and doing so without seemingly risking badassery in the name of quota-filling.
So, props to the writers and actors for bringing back the cool female fighter that young boys and girls can froth over again.
Speaking of the inclusion of femme Fatales, wouldn't it be cool if we could get a Jessica Jones crossover now that Marvel and Star Wars franchises are all owned by Disney?
I can see it now. Jones arrives to adopt the Child and teach him ... how to drink incessantly without getting a hangover.
But this all reminds me of when Hollywood used to create killer female characters that happened to be female because they wanted to, not because they had to.
Though, they didn't really need to make the female Mandalorian armor look ... well, so juvenile. I think it was Bo-Katan with that all-too-clean floral print looking armor. Or was it Koska? I don't know; they had their damned masks on.
The Moff and Din saber/beskar rod fight is straight out of the films ("impressive.... most impressive"). Fitting, considering this finale's finale.
The medieval Sword-and-Sorcerer-esque theme postulating that the Darksaber needs to be won in combat to yield its power pushes a trite narrative. Felt dumb.
But how can we not give "The Rescue" five stars when it so daringly affiliates the world's favorite Jedi?
Luke: Come, little one.
Din: He doesn't want to go with you.
Luke: He wants your permission. He is strong with the Force. But talent without training is nothing. I will give my life to protect the Child. But he will not be safe until he masters his abilities.
Grogu touching the surveillance monitor screen while watching the as-of-yet mysterious Jedi annihilate the troopers had me reminiscing about Poltergeist ("They're baaaaack."). But it showed a bond between the two while they had not yet met.
I was literally grasping my chest, waiting for the elevator door to open and reveal the identity of the Jedi. We all could have guessed who it was, but the reality of it -- in the sense of fiction -- is still something powerful to behold.
Then, with the swelling of the classic John Williams Star Wars-themed tune wafting in with Luke's reveal came swelling in my heart.
Having watched and absorbed the spectacle of an original film trilogy tie-in, how do we not have any reference to Grogu in the third trilogy?
Is it possible we could have gotten through three entire films without hearing of another Yoda type dude in the mix?
And then - holy whoa! -- the post ending credits scene thrusts us back into the palace formerly known as Jabba's, on Tatooine.
The tease for the new Boba Fett series -- which I suppose replaces the now-canceled film version -- excites us all over again with Boba killing Bib Fortuna and seizing his throne, Fennec by his side.
Is anybody pissed about all this madness? I welcome it; it's vintage Star Wars magic. I know many fans are still angry about The Last Jedi -- the best of the third trilogy, so it's hard to say how fans will react.
But since Luke is in classic form here, I think they will welcome him.
Do you welcome him? And what are your expectations for the new Boba Fett series?
Hit the "show-comments" button below to discuss and debate with yours truly and the rest of the Fanatics.
Kerr Lordygan is a staff writer for TV Fanatic. Follow him on Twitter.