Peter Griffin is the overweight patriarch of Family Guy. Peter is voiced by the show's creator, Seth McFarlane.
Peter, of questionable intelligence and ambition, somehow manage to land the beautiful, intelligent, and wealthy Lois. Hey, I guess that's why they call it television.
Although Peter's best friend is definitely his talking dog, Brian, he also has his great drinking buddies, Quagmire, Joe and Cleveland, who he gets into all sorts of zany adventures with.
[disappointedly] You wanna hurt me? Go right ahead if it makes ya feel any better. I'm an easy target. Yeah. You're right. I talk too much. I also listen too much. I could be a cold-hearted cynic like you, but I don't like to hurt people's feelings. Well, you think what you want about me. I'm not changin'. I like me. My kids like me. My friends like me. 'Cause I'm the real article. What you see is what you get.Peter
Peter: Good thing we distracted the guard with that riddle.
Guard: What gets wetter as it dries...a towel. Hey, I've been had!