Sterling Malory Archer, code name Duchess, is the world's most dangerous secret agent and son of the head of ISIS, Malory Archer. Although Sterling definitely has competent spy skills, most missions are solved either by his colleagues or dumb luck. The man constantly has a drink in hand, has no problem mooching off his mother, is an ass, and yet somehow is kind of the most awesome man on the planet. He doesn't have many friends, sleeps with mostly whores and used to date fellow ISIS agent Lana Kane.
Cyril: Why are you so scared of crocodiles?
Archer: Gee, I don't know, Cyril. Maybe deep down I'm afraid of any apex predator that lived through the K-T extinction. Physically unchanged for a hundred million years, because it's the perfect killing machine. A half ton of cold-blooded fury, the bite force of 20,000 Newtons, and stomach acid so strong it can dissolve bones and hoofs.
Archer: You swallowed a pool ball?
Pam: I wish just one and I still got two to go.