Sam Lloyd stars as the recurring character Theodore "Ted" Buckland on Scrubs.   Ted is Sacred Heart's lawyer and is pretty inept at his job.  He's pretty much the most depressing character on television and has unsucessfully attempted suicide many times.

Ted kinda has a weird sexual thing going on with his mother and performs in a very talented a cappella group called "The Worthless Peons."

Ted Buckland Quotes

J.D.: Hi, how are ya? I have a quick legal question. What if, hypothetically-
Ted: Oh, God, you killed somebody!
J.D.: Noooo!
Ted: Someone else did!
J.D.: No, no; no one killed anyone.
Ted: Maimed, mutilated, disfigured...let's not split hairs

Finally, doctors, if there is a mistake, don't admit it to the patient. Of course, if the patient is deceased - and you're sure - you can feel free to tell him or her... anything

Ted
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Scrubs Quotes

Elliot: Wait a second! This chart isn't for Charles James, it's for James Charles! He's the one who has cancer, not you!
J.D.: And who cares about him! He's anti-Semitic!

Heh, Photoshop, you can do anything. (Holds up a photo) Here I have you wearing a ducks bill. Get it? Because you're a quack! Get it? Classic comedy my friend.

Janitor