Peter: I put our family on the map tonight. No longer will we be just those faceless nobodys who brought the bird flu to Quahog. Lois: You know, there's something seriously wrong with the man who always puts his friends over his family. Brian: Come on, Lois, I think you're overreacting. What's so wrong about a guy hanging out with his buddies? Lois: Buddies? You're one of his buddies? Brian: Yeah, and you know why? 'Cause I don't try to tell what he can and can't do. Lois: Oh, please, Brian. You're just two people living in the same house. If you didn't, you'd never hang out with each other in a million years. He owns you. You're his property.
Brian: Peter, what are you doing? Peter: I'm not goin' to family night - my agreeing with Lois was just pure theater. Come on, we're jumpin' off the roof. Brian: Are you insane? We'll kill ourselves! Peter: Don't worry, we can fly! I got this pixie dust from a magic fairy - either that or it's speed I got from a transvestite at a diner. [noise of loud sniffing] Agh! It's the speed! It's the speed from the diner! Brian: Peter, let go of me! Agghâ€”! [he and Peter belly flop to front porch] Dammit!