Sheryl: Oh, baby. Can I give you some grandmotherly advice? Lexis: Uh-huh. Sheryl: You take a brick, and you hit her in the face. Lexis: What? Sheryl: This is where it hurts the most: right here. You take something heavy, and you smack her right there. She bigger than you? Yeah, that’s good. She won’t expect it. Okay, here. Wrap your hand around this. She’ll think you’re just hitting her with your fist, but you really have the thrust of a rock. What’s her name again? Lexis: Sammy. Sheryl: Sammy’s going to bleed a little bit, but she’ll think it’s just from your fist. Then you just drop your arm down by your side like this and let it slip out, and people will never know you had a rock in there at all. Lexis: I can’t. Sheryl: Oh, sure you can sweetheart. I thought I couldn’t either, but you know what I found out? You either make 'em your bitch, or they make you theirs.
Santa got high, now everything is funny. Someone had a gummy, he thought he might try. His mouth is so dry, his teeth are kind of itchy. How’d he ever get so high? Ho ho ho, just the taste of a yummy gummy. Ho ho ho, yummy yum in my rummy tummy. Ho ho ho, gummy gum, tummy, funny gummy. Oh god everybody knows.