Turk: Baby, she said she doesn't want to be helped.
Carla: If J.D. were drowning and he told you he didn't want you to save him, wouldn't you do it?
Turk: That depends. What if there're hot chicks at the pool? Maybe he wants one of them to jump in and save him?
Carla: Let's say there's no women.
Turk: There's always women at the pool, baby!
Carla: Fine. He's in a pond.
J.D.: Oh, I would never swim in a pond! They're infamous for serpents!
Turk: You could swim at the Y on Tuesdays - men only.
J.D.: Have you been to the Y on man night? Not me.
Carla: N-okay-fine! Turk's the one who's drowning!
Turk: Oh! So now a brother can't swim!

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J.D., Turk, Carla Espinosa
Scrubs Season 5 Episode 4: "My Jiggly Ball"
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J.D. Quotes, Turk Quotes, Carla Espinosa Quotes, Scrubs Season 5 Episode 4 Quotes, Scrubs Quotes
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Scrubs Season 5 Episode 4 Quotes

Orderly: (Handing Elliot a chart) This guy has an S.T.D., and he definitely doesn't want his wife to find out.
Elliot: (Walks in, sees Kelso)
Dr. Kelso: Crap.

(His entire right hand is moving) Guys, I think there might be something wrong with my spine, because I'm not doing that!

</i> J.D.