Carmela: In a year, tops, you're gonna have to accept a gumar.
Janice: Oh, yeah? Well I'd like to see a gumar who's gonna let him hold a gun to their head when they fuck.
Carmela: You let him hold a gun to your head during sex?
Janice: Yeah. Well, if that gets him off, I mean, it's not any different than garter belts and nurse's uniforms.
Carmela: Well, it's a gun, Janice. I thought you were a feminist.
Janice: Usually he takes the clip out.

Janice: What did you do with...[Richie's body]?
Tony: (deadpan) We buried him... on a hill... overlooking a little river... with pine cones all around.
Janice: You did?
Tony: (irritated) Come on, Janice! What the fuck do you care what we did with him?

Tony: How many jobs have you had in this lifetime?
Janice: Enough to know I don't want another one.

Janice: There's a Zuni saying: "For every twenty wrongs a child does, ignore nineteen."
Tony: There's an old Italian saying: "You fuck up once, you lose two teeth."

Tony: I'm sellin' Ma's house. You understand, Janice? Now put that fucking sign back in the fucking ground and that's it. End of discussion. Period.
Janice: You're so left brained. Whether the sign is there or not, the house is still for sale. The agent still has the listing.

Some family reunion--the woman who bore them all is barred from the premises.

The Sopranos Quotes

Junior: A Chinaman goes to see the eye doctor. After the exam the doctor said, "I know why you're having trouble." The Chinaman says, "why?" Doctor said, "you have a cataract." Chinaman says, "no, I have a Rincoln Continental." (short pause) You don't get it?
Bobby: I get it. He drives a Lincoln Continental. What?

You heard about the Chinese godfather? He made them an offer they couldn't understand.

Junior