Here he is. Just as hot as when his Tiger Beat photo spread gave a young girl the courage to explore the suddenly unfamiliar topography of her changing body...The Karate Kid!

I'm small town Marshall. I'm a hick from Brooklyn who's terrified of living more than ten subway stops from where I was born.

Lily: When you said you were about to get reamed?
Marshall: Oh right that. No, sometimes for fun, we throw reams of paper at each other. Bernard! Not a good time! Read the room!

Lily: You took my infant child to a strip club?
Robin: It was just topless!

Lily: I am so happy right now.
Marshall: I want to see her throw her life away so badly.
Ted: We're all terrible people. Turn it up.

Barney you don't start with the I got caught cheating diamond. You give yourself room to grow.

Lily: Okay but hurry, or I'm gonna start doing number eleven on my own.
Marshall: You can do that by yourself?
Lily: Pilates bitch!

Do it! If you ever wanna see these boobs again, crawl you sonnova me!

I was like John Gotti in a training bra.

Oprah wasn't built in a day.

Lily: Look Ted, it gets exhausting constantly giving people advice they haven't asked for, so I'm training Marshall
Marshall: My goal is to eventually say things that are so sassy and wise, that there is no possible response other than Mm or Mmhm. And if this is a place where we can share our dreams, I like to think that it is, I hope someday, to earn a...testify!

Ted: Why wouldn't she just come right out and say what she wants?
Marshall: Men! It's like if there weren't pickle jars to open and spiders to kill and computers to back up, what would be their point?
Lily: MmHm.