I give you three of vacation days a year, that's pretty easy. And I'm easy on the eyes! That's two easies.

Hey Jessica, brought you some baby food. Thought you might be hungry, but not want to chew.

Honey: I lost a Ricola in my hair a week ago.
Louis: I saw it fall out yesterday.

One woman's trash, another man's treasure.

It's the only thing she likes more than sensible footwear, instilling fear in people.

How can I help you find your next chapter if I can't even find mine?

Retire from what?

Extracurriculars are the wings of a social butterfly

You know I always figure that being his father automatically made me the teacher. But, I'm realizing that he'll teach me things too because he's going through big life changes. And so is Honey, it only makes sense that your relationship would evolve.

Jessica: And we have been invited to the chamber of commerce charity fundraising event. It's in a country club!
Louis: Why are you so excited about a country club?
Jessica: Because of Caddyshack. It's my favorite movie set in a country club. I've always wanted to go to one. "Spaulding get your foot off the boat!" It's so much yelling. It's so good.

Mitch: One blooming onion.
Louis: Uh, Mitch, I think you meant to say one booming onion. Blooming onion is the intellectual property of one less good restaurant.

Louis: You're not taking Mitch.
Mitch: They doubled my salary.
Louis and Jessica: OK, goodbye Mitch.

Fresh Off the Boat Quotes

Louis: Are you ready to do this?
Mitch:: Not really, I feel like I've told you numerous times, I don't want to do this but all you do is smile and nod.
Louis: [Smiles and nods]
Mitch: You're doing it.
Louis: [Smiles and nods[
Mitch: See, you're doing it

If you get lost, try to find a white family. You will be safe there until I can find you.