Ruth: Hey, you wanna dance around like morons to loud music?
Meg: I'll be right back! I've been holding in a dump since America.

Meg: "Hey, when you get sexually abused in a coma, do you know it's happening and can't do anything about it, or do you just not know what's going on?"
Quagmire: "I also am curious about that."

Meg: Mom, she's so sad and lonely.
Lois: Look who the bleep is talking!

(Connie opens closet door revealing Chris and Meg making out, the stop look out outside, and at each other.)
Meg: Chris?
Chris: Meg?
(they both back away from each other, screaming.)
Meg: OH MY GOD! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
Chris: TRYING GRAB SOME BOOBS!
Meg: FROM YOUR SISTER?
Chris: I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS YOU!
Meg: WELL, WHO DID THINK IT WAS?
Chris: SOME BITCH, WHO CARES!
Meg: UHH...OH MY GOD! AND WE DID SO MUCH!
Chris: SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!
Meg WE'RE DISGUSTING! WE'RE A DISGRACE TO OUR FAMILY!
(Bill Chilton, comes in in his tights)
Bill Chilton: Ahh.. maybe I can get on this.

Meg: Chris, look at what you did!
Chris: You mean look at what two black teenagers did when they stole Dad's bike...

Chris: Hey Meg! I'm going to jump that fire hydrant!
Meg: Chris don't! You're going to wreck Dad's bike!
Chris: Too late! I already narrowed my eyes!

Meg: We haven't made love in two weeks!
Joe: We haven't made love ever!

Meg: Sometimes, it's really hard being me. So I guess I just make "meganaid."
Joe: That sounds disgusting.

Meg [to Chris]: Yea Griffin! Your mom's gross and nasty!
Chris to Meg: Yea suck it! You're a whore daughter!

Meg: I bet you don't even know what [Obama's] first name is!
Chris: I don't know... Mike?

Meg: It's not something you learn, it's something that's inside of you, like the ability to choose to be gay.
Chris: I don't think they choose that...
Meg: Oh trust me, they choose that.

Brian: Lauren just finished a fascinating doctoral thesis on sub-orbital propulsion mechanisms that NASA is using for the next generation of space shuttles.
Chris and Meg: Oooohhhhhh... Aaaaahhhh!
Peter: So, Lauren, um, whenever I'm watchin' your show... you give me wood. Where do we go from here?

Family Guy Quotes

Stewie: Alright Brian, I'm gonna go up to the upper level and run this wire down through the wall. Grab your walkie, I'll call you when I get up there.
Brian: Okay.
(Stewie walks away, is heard over the walkie-talkie)
Stewie: Brian, pick up. Over.
Brian: What?
Stewie: Brian, please say "over" when you are finished talking. Over.
Brian: (sighs) What? Over.
Stewie: Do you see the wire yet? Over.
Brian: No.
Stewie: Nooooo what? Over.
Brian: No. Over.
Stewie: Okay, I'm gonna start feeding it through. Over.
Brian: Wait, If you haven't started feeding it, why'd ya ask me if I could see it?
Stewie: Didn't copy that. Over.
Brian: I said why did ya ask me if I could see it if you haven't started feeding it. Over.
Stewie: Oh that's better, I can hear you now. Over. Do you see it yet? Over.
Brian: You know, you're a jackass. For the record, I don't wanna hang out with you anymore when this is over.
Stewie: When this is what Brian? Over.
Brian: I said, I don't wanna hang out with you anymore when this is over.
Stewie: When this is what? You've got to finish your sentence. Over.
Brian: That's it, my sentence is over.
Stewie: Your sentence is what, Brian? Over.
Brian: My sentence is- wait a minute. I have to say over, even if the sentence ends with the word over?
Stewie: Ends with the word what, Brian? Over.
(the wire descends through the wall)
Brian: Oh, I see the wire.
Stewie: You see the wire what? Over.
Brian: Over! (yanks on the wire, pulling Stewie down with it)

[disappointedly] You wanna hurt me? Go right ahead if it makes ya feel any better. I'm an easy target. Yeah. You're right. I talk too much. I also listen too much. I could be a cold-hearted cynic like you, but I don't like to hurt people's feelings. Well, you think what you want about me. I'm not changin'. I like me. My kids like me. My friends like me. 'Cause I'm the real article. What you see is what you get.

Peter