Monica Geller Quotes
Monica: When I was younger, all I wanted was to play with this dollhouse. But, no! It was to be looked at, but never played with.
Chandler: My grandmother used to say that exact same thing to me.
Ross: Monica, Dad called this morning and, uh, Aunt Sylvia passed away.
Monica: (Pause) Yes! Yes! Yeah, yeah, yeah!
Ross: We were all pretty shaken up about it.
Monica: Come on Rach. When a guy says he's going to call, it doesn't mean he's going to call. This never happened to you?
Rachel: Well, they always called.
Monica: Hm, bite me.
Monica: I gave you a key for emergencies.
Phoebe: We were out of Doritos.
Rachel: (About Pete's tip) Oh, my God. I can't believe this is a real $20,000 check. Oh, this is just so exciting.
Monica: Or incredibly offensive.
Rachel: Oh yeah, sure, that too.
Monica: (About the large tip Pete left her) Seriously, what is this supposed to mean?
Pete: Well, you know, I never know how much to tip.
Monica: You're supposed to double the tax. Not double the tax of Romania.
Rachel: (About Pete asking Monica out) Well, I mean, are you sure you wanna go out with her? I mean, that ain't a pretty picture in the morning. That wig all in disarray, and boobs flung over the nightstand.
Monica: I mean, really, think about it.
Pete: Oh, I will.
Monica: The only reason you want to go out with me is because of the blond wig, and the big boobs, and the fact that I serve you food.
Pete: Well, if that were true I'd be dating my Aunt Ruth. And the two times we went out, it was just plain awkward.
Monica: What's "PLEH?"
Joey: That's help spelled backwards so that the helicopters can read it from the air!
Monica: Ah...what's doofus spelled backwards?
Joey: Smokey Joe here got half way to the highway and collapsed.
Chandler: I have the lung capacity of a two year old. (Starts to light another cigarette)
Monica: Then why are you smoking?
Chandler: Well it's very unsettling.
Joey: (To Chandler and Monica) Hey, does anybody else feel bad about Ross?
Monica: Why? Do you think he's still mad at us?
Chandler: (To Joey) Well, he's probably mad after you called him this morning to borrow his goggles.
Joey: What? Mine aren't tinted.
Phoebe: What town are we near?
Monica: Freemont! Westmont! Westburgh!
Phoebe: Okay, why are you answering?