Perry Cox Quotes
Turk: That's game, alright? That's game! You got next??
Dr. Cox: Yeah, I got next.
Laverne: Lonnie! Play with Dr. Cox.
Lonnie: Let's go!
Turk: Dude! Look at the glasses! Look at the mouthpiece!
Laverne: Dr. Turk is not aware that Lonnie was all-conference at Villanova.
Dr. Cox: Laverne, would you go ahead and thank whats-his-name for me?
Laverne: Jesus?
Dr. Cox: That's him.
(JD doing a video for his mother)
J.D.: Dr. Cox, do you have anything you'd like to say to my mom?
Dr. Cox: No, but I have something I'd like to say to her uterus, because it brought you into this world.
(Shakes the camera)
Dr. Cox: Bad uterus! Don't do that anymore!
Turk: I'm black, God knew my people would go through struggles so he gave us a lifetime of cool to compensate. Just like he knew white people would be rhythmically challenged and he gave you all this dance... (Dances awkwardly)
Dr. Cox: You're black? 'Cause last I checked you had a nerdy white best friend, you enjoy Neil Diamond, and you damn sure act like a black guy and these are all characteristics of white guys. Please understand, I'm a huge supporter of the NAACP. If you're don't know what that stands for, it's the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People. And quite frankly, I always thought they should change the 'colored people' to 'African Americans' but then of course it wouldn't be the NAACP it'd be the N quad A or NAAAA. And I know this probably sounds like a digression but actually brings me back to my original point...do I think you're black? Naaaaaaaaa!
Dr. Cox: Hello! That is a nice ride, huh Dexter? I hate to bother you but could you explain to me one more time, what is it like to be a young, hip black guy?
Turk: You see Dr. Cox, what I'm going to do is to pimp this out. We are going to put in 22s on it and put some spinners on the 22s.
Carla: Oh and a DVD-player so the kids can watch Elmo!
Turk: You're killing me, woman!
Jordan: What's going on?
Ted: I love you too dumpling, but I have to work late. I'll make it up to you this weekend.
Dr. Cox: Ted's on the phone with his mom, so we're taking five.
Dr. Cox: You know, Bobbo, I find you less repungent of late. Dare I say I'm developing a begrudging indifference to you.
Dr. Kelso: You're so edgy and cantankerous. You're like House without the limp.
Dr. Cox: Since Sweaty Teddy here backs up his infinitesimal knowledge of the law with absolutely zero knowledge of medicine, one of you is going to have to help him go through the claims deciphered for the medical stuff and somehow relay all of that into his tiny peanut brain. Ted, how many times did I insult you during that speech, I was shooting for five?
Ted: Only three unless you count "Sweaty Teddy" as an insult but my mom calls me that and she loves me, right?
Dr. Cox: No Ted, she hates you. Four. Since Ted has no life and that is five.
Ted: What's a "Buckland"?
Dr. Cox: It is a predominately hairless growth that is never found on women.
Ted: Weird.
Dr. Cox: It's your last name Ted.
Ted: Good one!
Please don't make me go out for drinks with Barbie and - yes, I know, it's way too easy - Ken!
Dr. Cox
Dr. Cox: I have no answers for any of you.
Gloria: But my boyfriend is Bi-curious and he wants me to pick his lovers.
Dr. Cox: I might have an answer for that, Ewwww.
(Dr. Cox is drinking a glass of scotch)
Dr. Zeltzer: Oh...oh..Slow down there, Big Guy!!
Dr. Cox: Why, Zeltzer? It's not like I'm driving.
Dr. Zeltzer: I know. But there's a roofie in it.
(Dr. Cox faints)
Jordan: I'm not sure if I'm okay with that!!
Dr. Zeltzer: Three... Two.. One!!
(Jordan faints)
Mrs. Zeltzer: Party Time.
Dr. Cox: (Talking to Elliots interns about her relationship with Keith) I wanna hear from the audience, I do. Dating in the work place: She's the boss, he's the pretty intern.
Tell me whats buggin' you! Courage!
Gloria: Hmm.. Sometimes they arrive in the morning and they smell like sex.
