Raj: Please if you have any problems, any questions, call me immediately, okay? She's my baby.
Bert: It shouldn't come up but just in case... Where could I buy a dog that looks exactly like her? Kidding. If she dies, I'll just tell you.

Leonard: I'm done enabling him. Like, this is HIS spot. And the thermostat has to be set to his comfort level even though he doesn't even live here anymore and I'm always chilly.
Raj: Is that why you wear a hoodie all the time?
Leonard: YES.

Raj: You're allowed to get a haircut.
Amy: I know. But I should've done it gradually. Y'know, like, maybe three hundred tiny haircuts over a ten year period.

Siebert: Hey fellas, can you do me a favor?
Raj: Do we have a choice?
Siebert: HA HA! No.

Leonard: I'm not going to make a fake appointment with a psychiatrist. What would I say is wrong with me?
Koothrappali: Low self esteem.
Howard: Social anxiety.
Sheldon: Sexual insecurity.
Leonard: None of that is true.
Penny: Denial. See sweetie, the list goes on and on.

Raj: You two are as afraid of hurting someone's feelings as I am.
Bernadette: That's not true. We were just laughing right in your face.

Bernadette: I don't when I became the mother to three lazy teenagers, but it stops today. You guys are cleaning the kitchen top to bottom.
Raj: Hey, I don't even live here!
Bernadette: Yes or no, do you have clothes in my laundry right now?

What if he's in prison? What if he's a spy? What if he's in a Beatles cover band? I'm just saying if he's got your nose and haircut, he'd make a killer Ringo.

Nathan Fillion: How about a guy who looks like Nathan Fillion, but a little more annoyed than Nathan Fillion usually is?
Leonard: What do you think?
Raj: Aww. That's good enough for Facebook.

Nathan Fillion: Oh, umm. I think you made a mistake. I'm not an actor.
Raj: Don't say that. You're not Dame Judi Dench but you're pretty great.

Raj: The guy who plays Jon Snow was a jerk and we still watch Game of Thrones.
Leonard: He was a jerk because you rear-ended him.
Raj: I was distracted. It's weird seeing a member of the Night's Watch with kayak strapped to his car.

Leonard: Stephen Hawking liked our paper. Said the premise is intriguing.
Sheldon: Good to see you again, Mr. Stephen-Hawking- Liked-Our-Paper.
Leonard: And you as well, Mr. Our-Premise-Is-Intriguing.
Howard: How do you do, Mr. I'll- Admit-That's-Pretty-Cool?
Raj: Yeah, you keep setting me up for failure.

TBBT Quotes

Sheldon: Why do you have the Chinese character for "soup" tattooed on your right buttock?
Penny: It's not "soup," it's "courage."
Sheldon: No it isn't. But I suppose it does take courage to demonstrate that kind of commitment to soup.
Penny: How'd you see it? You said you wouldn't look.
Sheldon: Sorry. As I told you, the hero always peeks.

Leonard: Hi. I'm Leonard. You are beautiful. You pop, sparkle and buzz electric. I'm going to pick you up at eight, show you a night you will never forget.
Raj: Where are we going?