Elliot: Dr. Cox, I got a patient with osteomyelitis who needs a bone biopsy. Who do you use?
Dr. Cox: You put me in an awkward spot because I'm here and I want to help but speaking to you would acknowledge your existence and you don't exist. So, I'm going to address the stapler. Hi, stapler, the red is killer. By the way, there's a certain Dr. Brownsfield who's just the most wonderful bone guy... What? What's that, stapler? Oh no, she... she's an actual doctor.
Elliot: Neither of you are very funny!

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Elliot Reid, Perry Cox
Scrubs Season 5 Episode 16: "My Bright Idea"
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Scrubs Season 5 Episode 16 Quotes

Dr. Cox: Hey Carla! You're glowing!
Carla: (Smiling) Really?!
Dr. Kelso: Nurse Espinosa, have your breasts gotten bigger?
Carla: Wow, Dr. Kelso! That's innapropriate!
Turk: Baby, that sounds like a compliment to me. Maybe you're just a little hormonal...

Elliot: I'd like to remember all the carpal bones in the hand with a simple mnemonic device: Scaphoid, Lunate, Triquetral, Pisiform, Trapezium, Trapezoid, Capitate and Hamate. Some Lovers Try Positions That They Can't Handle.
Keith: Hey?!?!
Elliot: It was not directed at you, Doctor.