Dr. Cox: God save me, watching sports is one of the last pure pleasures I have left in my life. So you, you tell me, what's it gonna take for you to let me go home, sit in my massage chair, and enjoy the game?
Janitor: I would like...to perform open-heart surgery.
Dr. Cox: No.
Janitor: How about you perform surgery on me so that I can breathe under water.
Dr. Cox: No.
Janitor: I would like a shark that can read minds.
Dr. Cox: No!
Janitor: You and I trade lives for a year.
Dr. Cox: No!
Janitor: How about a home-cooked meal and an hour in your massage chair?
Dr. Cox: Done.

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Perry Cox, The Janitor
Scrubs Season 4 Episode 15: "My Hypocritical Oath"
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Scrubs Season 4 Episode 15 Quotes

J.D.: Hey, Kylie, there you are.
Kylie: Hey! J.D.!
J.D.'s Narration: This is your moment! Grab it! Listen, Kylie... Out loud, you idiot! Out loud!

J.D.: What are you doing here?
Kylie: My girlfriend Tamyra, from the club? She's also feeling a little sick, and you'll never guess what she has.
J.D.: Gonorrhea! I mean... gonorrhea.