Bum: I want more money.
J.D.: WHAT!?
Bum: Fifty bucks or I tell the girl.
J.D.: I don't have it!
Bum: Get it!
J.D.: Elliot, I need another doctor over here, stat!
Elliot: Yeah?
J.D.: Gimme thirty dollars.
Elliot: I gave you twenty, I'm tapped! Ask Johnson. He's loaded.
J.D.: I need a dermatologist over here, stat!
Dr. Johnson: Oh yeah! Time to shine! What do you need? Is it a rash?

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J.D., Elliot Reid
Scrubs Season 4 Episode 16: "My Quarantine"
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Scrubs Season 4 Episode 16 Quotes

Now, keep an eye on the bum's vitals. I gave him enough sedative to put down a rhino.


Kylie: Let's go.
J.D.: Kylie, wait. I paid Steve fifty bucks and an I.O.U. for another hundred and twenty to fake a heart attack. I just-I really wanted tonight to go well.
Kylie: Is there anything else?
Danni: Adios, assface.
J.D.: I had sex with her. A lot.
Kylie: Why are you telling me this?
J.D.: If I don't come clean now, whether it's a few weeks or months or years from now, I know it's gonna come back to haunt me and ruin us, and I don't want that.
Kylie: I'm not looking for a project.
J.D.: Yeah... I understand. It's...
Kylie: So get it together. Now let's go get some coffee.