2 Broke Girls Season 1 Quotes
Caroline: See success!
Max: Scaring people into participating is not success, it's Scientology.
Dutch Girl: We put the fun in Funnel, you can spell funnel without "fun"
Caroline: Or F. U.
Catherine: You can't spell focus without "us".
Max: Or F. U.
Earl: Hello Sophie, if you looked any sweeter, you would fire up my diabetes.
Sophie: Oh Earl, you wouldn't be the first man to lose a limb over me.
Han: Hey everybody, I got it!
Oleg: Don't worry, at least you caught it in the early stages.
Caroline: How did ketchup get this hard?
Max: You just hold it in your hand like this and say, "You're the best ketchup I've ever had."
Caroline: I can't believe you're putting your financial future into the hands of a hipster tax place called "The Tax of Life".
Max: You know how the old proverb goes. "You take the good, you take the bad. You take what's left, and there you have the tax of life."
Earl: Max, you got a stamp? I wanna drop this off in the mail on my way home.
Max: I have one in my purse. I'll just get it.
Caroline: Max, he wants to file this year. He doesn't have time for the search party to go into your purse and return.
Max: Hey, it's a purse. It's supposed to be messy.
Caroline: No, it's supposed to be a purse, not a retirement home for a pair of panties stuck to old lifesavers.
Earl: I'm kinda off my meal now.
Oleg: Chicken breast, side of hot sauce.
Max: Breast? Hot sauce? Come on, it's right there.
Oleg: Max, now that I have big love for Sophie, I no longer say inappropriate sexual things to other women. I save all my hot sauce for her breasts.
Max: Love has made you a real old lady.
I wanted to scream, but it wouldn't come out.
Caroline
This is not like me, the only thing I've ever lost is my virginity.
Caroline
Earl: Today is April 16th do you know what tomorrow is?
Han: Oh, happy Martin Luther King Day. Have a drink on me.
Earl: It's not Martin Luther King Day; black people are allowed to be excited about other days.
Han: Oh, is there a new Tyler Perry moving coming out?
