Ladies, I'd like to propose a toast. To Jeff! The only man for the job.


Doctor: Will you tell Steve I would love to get a round of golf in at the club when he's got the time?
Bonnie: Steve and I split up.
Doctor: I didn't know that. Getting back on birth control would not be wise, considering your situation.
Bonnie: My situation is my business, and the state of California agrees with me.
Doctor: I'm not talking about that, Mrs. Nolan, I'm talking about your examination. I'm afraid I have some bad news.

Mr. Bishop: You came in late today. Again. And now you're dozing off in meetings?
Diana: I haven't been getting much sleep at night.
Mr. Bishop: Is this conversation amusing you?
Diana: No sir. I'm just happy to be here.

Diana: You think I could have fixed this for you?
Kathleen: Yes! You could have told me.
Diana: You wouldn't have believed me because you already knew it was true.
Kathleen: What? I didn't know!
Diana: Yes, you did. How many times did you complain that the sex was disappointing? How many times did he have a last minute meeting that kept him out half the night? You knew. You just didn't do anything about it.

This isn't fair. You didn't tell me who you really were, so I didn't get the chance to decide if I really loved you. You didn't give me a choice. You just decided for me. Who gave you that right?


Adam: I want Jessica to open it.
Steve: Angus, what you want in this house doesn't really matter, does it? Besides, the suspense is killing me. [holds up painting and snickers]
Jessica: Wow! Is that me?
Adam: Your mom told me that you like stars. Do you like it?
Jessica: Yes, I do. I like it a lot!
Steve: Don't be stupid, honey. It doesn't even look like you.
Becca: Don't talk to her like that, Dad.
Steve: Don't sass back to me like that; do you understand?
Becca: She's just a kid.
Steve: And so are you!

Bonnie: What the hell are you doing?
Steve: I'm just expressing my opinion. I think this looks like shit.
Adam: I just paint what I feel, man. I painted Jessica's innocence and, and her wonder because that's what's beautiful about her, alright? The rest isn't important.
Steve: That's just a bunch of bullshit covering up an even bigger lack of talent.

Steve: What's that?
Adam: It's a gift. For Jessica.
Bonnie: Adam, you didn't have to do that.
Steve: A present? You don't even look like you could afford a present.
Bonnie: Steven, that's enough.
Steve: What? I'm not the only one in the room thinking that right now. Jessica, does Adam give nice presents?
Jessica: I don't know. This is my first one.

Dude: Can I have your number?
Diana: Why do you want my number?
Dude: Because I want to see you again.
Diana: [kisses him passionately] Get out of my car.

Steve: I won't be asking you to paint me, Angus, no offense.
Adam: That's cool. I'd probably paint a lot of things you wouldn't like.
Steve: Like what?
Adam: I'd paint you melting into the background, Steve. That fading man. I'd make you a ghost.
Steve: You're gonna take my place, are ya?
Adam: I don't know, but somebody will.

Bonnie: Becca, I might have overreacted. I don't know what got into me.
Becca: It's called racism.
Bonnie: Becca, don't say that. I'm not, you know. That. I screwed up, alright?

Kathleen: I've heard so much about you, Louise, but Bonnie never mentioned how beautiful you are.
Louise: Oh, why thank you.
Kathleen: You're welcome. You have such pretty skin. You know, the thing about colored people that I notice is that y'all have different colors of skintones. Some colored people are very light skinned and some are very dark, but you have just the perfect tone. It's like chocolate.

American Woman Quotes

Steve: Are you watching this?
Bonnie: Not really. I just had it on.
Steve: Do you understand what she's talking about? Because I don't.
Bonnie: I think some women want to work and have a career like Diana's doing. I don't think it's that crazy.
Steve: Yeah, I guess, but it's no picnic out there in the real world. I mean, I feel like you women have it real good. I mean, why complain?

Kathleen: Now I got a man, and I'm doing everything I can to keep him.
Diana: Why are you worried you're gonna lose him?
Kathleen: Well, I'm not WORRIED. Greg is great. He's so sweet and attentive, but there's just no spark. Sometimes I think I just might not be his type.
Bonnie: Well, what is his type?