Terry: I'm Sgt Terry Jeffords.
Seth Dozerman: And I'm not interested. I have no use for people. I find people weird and confusing. I live my life by numbers.

Yes, we did kiss each other. For realz.

Amy

Amy: How do we keep it light and breezy...I know. A comprehensive set of rules.
Jake: How am I attracted to you? Doesn't matter. I am. Go.

Amy: Rule number one, let's not tell anyone so we can figure out what this is first.
Jake: Smart. Rule number two, let's not put labels on it. We're not boyfriend and girlfriend, we're just...murmzeep and jinglebin.
Amy: Great. Rule number three, let's not have sex right away.
Jake: (pause) Cool. Cool cool cool cool cool cool cool, no doubt no doubt no doubt no doubt. Good rule, no sex, good rule.

Wuntch: Hello Raymond. You're looking old and sickly.
Holt: So nice of you to greet us, Madeline. I thought surely you'd be crushed under that house in Munchkin land.
Wuntch: Sticks and stones, Raymond.
Holt: Describing your breakfast?

Rosa: I don't need to be monitored all day long, I'm not a toddler. This is stupid.
Terry: I know you're not a toddler, because my toddlers would know that "stupid" is a no-no word.

Jake: We broke a rule.
Amy: Yeah we broke a rule. Hope it wasn't a mistake.
Jake: "Hope it wasn't a mistake" the title of your sex tape. (gasp) The title of OUR sex tape!

Charles: Did you kiss? Did you French?!
Jake: Charles, I'm not gonna answer that. And no one over the age of twelve says "French!"

Dozerman: Also, someone named Norm Scully has been in the bathroom for 72 minutes.
Jake: Yeah, that means he's about halfway.

You know my motto sir, chos before hoes. "Chos" woud be chores.

Jake

Hi, Gina Linetti, the human form of the 100 emoji.

Gina

Holt: Why did you even choose a pigeon anyway, it's a terrible mascot.
Wuntch: They're a symbol of New York. They're non-threatening and they're everywhere.
Holt: They're carriers of disease and they eat garbage!

Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Episode 1 Quotes

Amy: Rule number one, let's not tell anyone so we can figure out what this is first.
Jake: Smart. Rule number two, let's not put labels on it. We're not boyfriend and girlfriend, we're just...murmzeep and jinglebin.
Amy: Great. Rule number three, let's not have sex right away.
Jake: (pause) Cool. Cool cool cool cool cool cool cool, no doubt no doubt no doubt no doubt. Good rule, no sex, good rule.

Yes, we did kiss each other. For realz.

Amy