Nothing is as important to me in the world as this dog.

Holt

Someone took our fluffy boy!

Holt

You both look upset. Did they stop funding the arts?

Jake

I've had Arlo for a day and a half, but if anything happened to him I would kill everyone in this room and then myself.

Rosa

Here they come, my beautiful blue-vested bunnies.

Holt

Charles: I guess Jake and I still have the only unbreakable bond in the precinct.
Amy: I mean, he is my husband.
Charles: Mhm, no one ever gets divorced?

Look at them laughing. Jake must've said something really funny. Should we forfeit and go see what it is?

Charles

Sorry, sir, that no one wants to bone your dusty old skeleton.

Amy

Sleep. Sleep, you ugly morons.

Holt

Jake: Can you at least try to be nice, for me?
Rob: Okay. I'll be nice.

You gave Hitchcock and Scully an important case?

Rosa

Rob: Wish you were dead, you lousy son of a bitch!
Jake: You said you were gonna be nice!
Rob: I lied, so I could say the son of a bitch thing.

Brooklyn Nine-Nine Quotes

Amy: Didn't work.
Jake: Ugh, I knew it! I got bum nards!

Amy: Rule number one, let's not tell anyone so we can figure out what this is first.
Jake: Smart. Rule number two, let's not put labels on it. We're not boyfriend and girlfriend, we're just...murmzeep and jinglebin.
Amy: Great. Rule number three, let's not have sex right away.
Jake: (pause) Cool. Cool cool cool cool cool cool cool, no doubt no doubt no doubt no doubt. Good rule, no sex, good rule.