That's insulting. I'm very concerned with immigration issues.

Scully

Charles: Fun! Terry's playing the flute.
Holt: At work? Who are you, William Wonka?

Jake: You're a great detective, Charles.
Charles: Wow, even in defeat you are a true prince of a man.

The phrase "whodunit" is a grammatical abomination. So, please use the proper term "a who has done this."

Holt

Jake: No one likes a know-it-all.
Dillman: You're married to one.

You see, Terrence, I couldn't help but notice you're not wearing suspenders today. Odd, considering suspenders are your entire personality.

Jake

Holt: Dillman never talks first when he's in the box.
Amy: Well, Rosa never initiates conversation of any kind.

Dillman: Based on your reaction I know everything about you as a person.
Jake: That can't be true.
Holt: It is. You're cooked.

Jake Peralta is age thirty-nine but professionally he's still in his prime.

Holt

Jake: That's impossible, I never keep my receipts! Amy tell them, tell them how much our accountant hates me.
Amy: She hates him so much!

You're the most consistent person in my life Peralta. I can always count on you.

Doug Judy

Jake: I just got outta jail. Five years.
Chuck: Tough sentence, what'd you do?
Jake: Elder abuse. Got my grandpa good, so.
Chuck: Damn, that's very upsetting.

Brooklyn Nine-Nine Quotes

Amy: Didn't work.
Jake: Ugh, I knew it! I got bum nards!

Holt: That's weird, it's sunny outside.
Jake: Why is that weird?
Holt: Because a shit-storm is about to rain down.