Randy: We're actually all staffed-up in maintenance.
Jake: We don't want your job, Randy!

Team Santiago, let's lunch-a-bunch!

Amy

Sir, wait! Oh, I didn't know I was going to catch up to you so fast. I don't know what to say now, I thought I'd have more running time to formulate it.

Jake

Charles: Your yogurt's spoiled.
Terry: Who did this?!

When a case involves me, he can get a little overemotional.

Kevin

I've been thinking and I do wanna have kids. With you.

Jake

Jake: You should've seen the look on my face when I saw it was her!
Pam: Your jaw just dropped!

If you are not 100% sure you want them, you will not survive.

Terry

Terry: You got married without discussing whether or not you want kids?
Jake: We also got married without discussing whether or not we like water parks.

Amy, I'm scared, okay?

Jake

I just searched my heart and wrote down what I was feeling.

Jake

Jake: I don't know for totally sure that I wanna have kids.
Amy: You don't?

Brooklyn Nine-Nine Quotes

Amy: Rule number one, let's not tell anyone so we can figure out what this is first.
Jake: Smart. Rule number two, let's not put labels on it. We're not boyfriend and girlfriend, we're just...murmzeep and jinglebin.
Amy: Great. Rule number three, let's not have sex right away.
Jake: (pause) Cool. Cool cool cool cool cool cool cool, no doubt no doubt no doubt no doubt. Good rule, no sex, good rule.

Charles: "My hunch, my hunch, my lovely casey hunch!" Sing with me.
Jake: That's not gonna happen, I will literally never -- "What you gonna do with all that hunch, all that hunch inside your brain!"
Charles and Jake: "We're gonna solve, solve, solve this case, solve this case right in your face!"