Doing baby laundry makes me want to cry.


Here is your burger and cabbage. They call it the No One Wants That.


Nathaniel: I’ve been trying to get an Uber but these idiot drivers keep canceling on me.
Heather: You must have a bad rating.
Nathaniel: The ratings go both ways? Socialists.

I was at Kate Middleton’s wedding and we barely speak anymore.