Reid: Maybe we should ask Morgan for help.
Garcia: No!
Reid: But he has really good abs.
Garcia: Yes he does. But it's bad enough some bureaucrat is making us to take this stupid test. The last thing we need is Mr. Universe talking smack the whole time.

It is more important to know what sort of person has a disease, than to know what sort of disease a person has - Hippocrates

Reid

I'll eat you. I'll eat your face off. I'll eat you alive.

Liz Foley

I was attacked by a rabid fox once. Shot the thing three times before it went down. Freaking terrifying. It was like a horror movie.

Rossi

Reid: A rabies death is apparently quite the spectacle. There are convulsions, spasms. Then the madness sets in, along with uncontrollable salivation, which accounts for the foaming at the mouth we all associate with the disease.
JJ: That sounds terrible.
Reid: It is. And one of the cruelest ironies of all is the extreme dehydration caused by hydrophobia. The victims have a visceral fear response to liquid of any sort. Add to that confusion, hallucinations and you can probably imagine the horror.

JJ: I can't imagine watching my own son die, let alone from rabies.
Reid: Almost makes you consider euthanasia. I'm not saying I would advocate euthanizing Henry or anything.

Morgan: Pretty boy. Hope they didn't mess up that face too bad. You know that's your best asset.
Reid: Luckily just some superficial nicks and bruises. How are you doing?
Morgan: I just got a couple of burns, but I'll be all right.

Garcia: I just hope the PT instructor isn't a jerk. Those jock guys are always such jerks.
Reid: Yeah. Total jerks. That's probably him right now.
Garcia: Look. He's totally walking like a jerk.
Reid: Yeah. That's a total jerk-walk.
Garcia: Yeah. Jerk-walk.
Reid: Wait a minute. Wait, I think that's Morgan.

Friendship multiplies the good of life, and divides its evils - Baltasar Gracian

Morgan

Morgan: All right, all right, all right. Enough is enough. I guess I got to let the cat out of the bag. I kind of already had your fit test waived.
Reid: What?
Morgan: Baby girl, think about it. You're not even in the field. And pretty Ricky, you already got enough case hours to qualify. This was just a good time for me.
Garcia: I'm gonna kill him.
Reid: If I can manage to lift my arms, I'll hold him down.

Criminal Minds Season 9 Episode 18 Quotes

Friendship multiplies the good of life, and divides its evils - Baltasar Gracian

Morgan

Morgan: All right, all right, all right. Enough is enough. I guess I got to let the cat out of the bag. I kind of already had your fit test waived.
Reid: What?
Morgan: Baby girl, think about it. You're not even in the field. And pretty Ricky, you already got enough case hours to qualify. This was just a good time for me.
Garcia: I'm gonna kill him.
Reid: If I can manage to lift my arms, I'll hold him down.