(Gabrielle asks Carlos to come to her wedding).
Carlos: I can't go.
Gabrielle: Why not?
Carlos: I'm a jinx. I wen't to your last wedding and look how that turned out. (Gabrielle gives him a look.) C'mon Gaby, we both know it'd be weird if I went.
Gabrielle: Okay, maybe a little, but it'll be weirder if you don't.
Carlos: Excuse me?
Gabrielle: Look, everyone knows you're living with Edie, if she shows up alone people will think I asked her not to bring you like it bugs me that you guys are together.
Carlos: But it does bug you, you hit the roof when you found out.
Gabrielle: (now yelling at him) Which is why I have to show people that I'm Okay with it! (calms herself) Please, just, consider it my wedding gift.
Carlos: Okay.. But I'm skipping the ceremony.
Gabrielle: What? And just go to the reception? You can't do that.
Carlos: Well I don't wanna make a scene. You'll vow "Til death do us part" I'll bust out laughing, people will stare...
Gabrielle: Reception starts at four.

(Carlos looks for money to give the paperboy and discovers Edie's pills.)
Danny: What's that?
Carlos: It's birth control pills.
Danny: I'm gonna need cash.

Desperate Housewives Season 3 Episode 23 Quotes

Susan: I just got a lipstick yesterday. You could wear that!
Gabrielle: I just paid a make-up artist five hundred bucks to do my face, do you really think I wanna march down the aisle looking like I just ate a popsicle?!

Well, in that spirit, as soon as I start chemo, I will be giving up shampoo.