I'm always getting my Mexicans confused, which I'm allowed to do because I'm Mexican.

Gaby

It isn't easy giving up power admitting that we might need help from friends and neighbors, deciding that a loved one might know what's best for us, giving up our better judgment for a slightly darker agenda, but for some the hardest kind of power to give up is the power to control their own desires.

Mary Alice

Your ex kept secrets to hurt you. I'm keeping a secret to protect you.

Ben

Lynette: Huh. That's weird.
Tom: What?
Lynette: I have an "Isn't that Ironic?" app that usually buzzes when people say stuff like that.

My husband's an alcoholic so I can only drink at work.

Gaby

In life we all make plans, but sometimes they don't turn out the way we expected. By trying to help out, we may damage a relationship. By attempting to reach out, we may push someone further away. By digging into the past, we may enrich our present.

Mary Alice

Gaby: You can't dress for church if you want to move the 'merch. You gotta shake the rear to make them buy the gear. You wanna sell some knits, you gotta flash the...
Carlos: Gaby! I got it.

This baby's working on her black belt.

Julie

Lynette: You tidied up the dead guy?
Bree: I felt it was respectful at the time.

She also has the right to remain horny.

 

Gaby

Andrew: Don't you just wanna eat her up?
Bree: Not before I take a picture of her!

When we see an opportunity in life, we have to take it. Whether it's the hope of winning back the love of our life, a shot at proving our worth, or the chance to show a child the right path, but sometimes when we answer the call we have no idea what opportunity awaits us.

Mary Alice

Desperate Housewives Quotes

Dr. Barr: Hey there. I was surprised to hear you wanted a session.
Bree: Well, there's nothing like being tied to a bed to change a girl's mind.
Dr. Barr: What do you wanna talk about?
Bree: Anything at all. As you said, I...I have a lot of issues.
Dr. Barr: Well, I assumed as much when you told the ridiculous story about your daughter running off with a murderer.
Bree: Saw right through that, did ya?
Dr. Barr: Well, I'm a trained professional, Bree. The human mind is my playground.
Bree: Well, I'm glad that you're having fun.

(to dead body) "Tu me manques, Monique" ("I Miss You Monique").

Orson