Lynette: Maybe we should think about seeing another therapist.
Tom: When we started, you loved her.
Lynette: Yeah, and when we started, I loved you too. Things change.

Angie: We make sure they don't do anything stupid. Have you gotten Ana birth control?
Gabrielle: I make her spend time with Juanita and Celia. I was hoping that would do it.

Bree: You will not be killing yourself! I will remove every knife, rope and pill from this house and, if I have to, I will be with you 24 hours a day.
Orson: Well, being bored to death wasn't how I was planning to go, but we can try it your way.

Gabrielle: You know how Ana is dating Danny Bolen?
Carlos: I'm gonna kill him.
Gabrielle: And we have to be realistic.
Carlos: With my bare hands...
Gabrielle: Because they're not gonna listen to reason.
Carlos: And bury him under the porch.
Gabrielle: No, Carlos. What choice do we have? They're two teenagers who are getting seriously involved. Isn't it better to be safe than sorry?
Carlos: But giving them these is like giving them our blessing.
Gabrielle: And that's how I felt at first, but like Angie said, nature's gonna take its course.
Carlos: Yeah, easy for her to say. She's got the boy!

Lawyer: "To my dearest Susie Q. Who endured my infidelities far longer than she should have, years of cheating, betrayals almost from the day we were married...
Susan: Can we just skip to the part where I get stuff?

Gabrielle: I don't understand. How could you not know you're Mexican? We eat Mexican food all the time!
Juanita: We eat Chinese food, too. Does that mean I'm Chinese?
Carlos: No, that just means your mother hates to cook.

Susan: You fantasize about other men when you're with Carlos?
Gabrielle: Honey, Carlos has been so many different men, I'm actually surprised when I open my eyes and it's Carlos.

I know it's risky, but I'm really passionate about this. And I think that the best way to be successful in life is to do what you're passionate about. That's why I keep telling Danny to pursue his poetry.


Danny: This is why I don't tell her stuff.
Angie: Okay. I'm sorry. I was just trying to make a joke. Let's get back to dinner, huh?
Danny: Oh no, I'm good. Carbs. Mnh-mnh.

Oh, no! He's heading towards the toaster with a fork!


This morning you walked in and sat on the toilet while I shaved my legs. We have no boundaries.


Orson! How are corn nuts urgent?