Brian: Umm...where are the toilets?
New Yorker Editor: Oh, no one at The New Yorker has an anus.

• Permalink: Umm...where are the toilets? Oh, no one at The New Yorker has ...
• Added: December 02, 2009

Peter: A-Team roll call; Face?
Quagmire: Here and handsome!
Peter: Murdoch?
Joe: Here, and... crazy!
Peter: B.A.?
Cleveland: I pity the fool! But also suggest ways he may better himself.

• Permalink: A-Team roll call; Face? Here and handsome! Murdoch? Here, ...
• Added: December 02, 2009

Brian: Wow, you went to Harvard, huh? I'm an Ivy League man myself, I went to Brown.
Wellsley Sheperdson: Ooh, my incarcerated business partner's retarded gay niece went to Brown, what year did you graduate?
Brian: Well, I mean, I, I didn't... technically graduate.
Sheperdson: You're a college dropout? Brian, The New Yorker does not employ your kind! You, sir, are fired!

• Permalink: Wow, you went to Harvard, huh? I'm an Ivy League man myself, I w...
• Added: December 02, 2009

Lois: Oh, Brian, I can't believe they fired you! How come you never told us you dropped out of college?
Chris: I, I saw an after-school special about that! It didn't work out too well for Kristy McNichol, but, then again, nothing did..

• Permalink: Oh, Brian, I can't believe they fired you! How come you never to...
• Added: December 02, 2009

[Brian watching Facts of Life]
Jo: Uh, Mrs. Garrett, can I ask you something?
Mrs. Garrett: What is it Jo?
Jo: Um... is it alright if your penis and vagina touch each other?
Mrs. Garrett: What?!
Jo: Yeah, I kinda woke up this morning and they were sort of touching each other.
Mrs. Garrett: You have both?!
Jo: Yeah, doesn't everyone?
Mrs. Garrett: No!

• Permalink: Uh, Mrs. Garrett, can I ask you something? What is it Jo? Um...
• Added: December 02, 2009