Family Guy
Sundays 9:00 PM on FOXFamily Guy Season 8 Episode 12: "Go Stewie Go" Quotes
I bet you taste like Mountain Dew and Starburst.
Lois
A perfectly normal little boy! Who just happens to be a transvestite! Which ... begins with the letter T.
Julie: I'm not a lesbian.
Stewie [as Karina]: I'm not either.
Brian: What are you exactly?
Stewie: I think I'm in love with Julie. Whenever I talk to her, it makes my bandaid start to peel off.
Brian: What are you talking about?
Stewie: I'm talking about the thing. I gotta hide it for the cameras. Instead of tucking, I just push it in like a button and put a bandaid over it.
Brian: What kind of bandaid?
Stewie: A big one, big giant one. Nah, just one of those dots you put on a shot.
Peter: She ain't what she used to be. Once you get those pants off it's like two sagging breast hams and a slice of pizza.
Lois: Thank you, Peter, that makes me feel terrific.
Peter: Lois, you have a gray hair.
Lois: What?
Peter: Inch and a half left of your part.
Lois: Oh my god, you're right.
Peter: You know I don't mind so much that you're aging, it's just the way you're shoving it down my throat.
Lois: Screw you Peter.
Peter: Wow, not today.