Family Guy Season 13 Episode 6: "The 2000 Year Old Virgin" Quotes
I don't speak for Jesus, I just get him trim.Peter
Stewie: Boy this must be killing you. You're an atheist, and the one guy you don't believe in is getting to bang the woman of your dreams.
Brain: I don't have to take this! I'm out of here. Can you let me out?
Peter: Like, anything in the universe?
Peter: Brookstone massage chair.
Jesus: Are you sure?
Peter: Never been more sure about anything in my life.
Are you okay with someone who wanders the desert lecturing people on how to act?Jesus
Peter: Jesus, we're going to help you lose your virginity!
Quagmire: Oh god! I love sex!
Joe: Sex is overrated.
Peter: Stay out of this Joe.
Jesus: Uh hot ladies. Horny ones. Who, uh, sex on you.
Jesus: Yeah, you know, they come back to your house and sit on your butt.
Peter: Oh look Jesus, you shouldn't be alone during Christmas. And if I remember correctly, isn't your birthday sometime soon too?
Jesus: Ah whatever, I'm fine. I'll probably just reheat some ramen and watch Grey's Anatomy.
You want me to pick up something on the way or, no you're good?Peter
Oh it's not that much Lois, just infinity times what you bring home every week.Peter
It's a living!Meg