Stewie: What kind of feet can fit in these shoes?
Brian: Your feet!

• Permalink: Your feet!
• Added: March 08, 2015

You hit me! What kind of monster hits a pregnant toddler!

Stewie

• Permalink: You hit me! What kind of monster hits a pregnant toddler!
• Added: March 08, 2015

Stewie: We could even use my own crib!
Brian: You use your own crib!

• Permalink: You use your own crib!
• Added: March 08, 2015

We do not judge the machine, we do not judge Stewie.

Stewie

• Permalink: We do not judge the machine, we do not judge Stewie.
• Added: March 08, 2015

This is serious Rupert, I'm losing him! I'm going to fix this relationship. We need a baby, and we need it now!

Stewie

• Permalink: This is serious Rupert, I'm losing him! I'm going to fix this relationship. We need a baby,...
• Added: March 08, 2015

Lois: Oh I'm not doing anything special, just sitting here with the baby.
Stewie: Screw you too.

• Permalink: Screw you too.
• Added: March 08, 2015

Peter, are you just trying to take a knee until the end of the show? Peter that's not gonna work, you can't just --

Lois

• Permalink: Peter, are you just trying to take a knee until the end of the show? Peter that's not gonna...
• Added: February 15, 2015

Chris: It's made of skittles! You want to eat the baby together on the way home?
Lois: Yeah, I'd like that.

• Permalink: Yeah, I'd like that.
• Added: February 15, 2015

Chris: What should I do dad??
Peter: I don't know -- where's that girlfriend of yours, she seems cool?

• Permalink: I don't know -- where's that girlfriend of yours, she seems cool?
• Added: February 15, 2015

AHHHHH, my morning scream. AHHHHH! Heather's gone!

Chris

• Permalink: AHHHHH, my morning scream. AHHHHH! Heather's gone!
• Added: February 15, 2015

Chris: Hey Heather I made your favorite cookies, now I want to hear about your day.
Peter: Hey Lois I heard Katherine Heigl likes to french kiss.
Lois: Oh my god, Chris treats that pile of junk better than Peter treats me!

• Permalink: Oh my god, Chris treats that pile of junk better than Peter treats me!
• Added: February 15, 2015

Lois: I thought you said you'd take care of it!
Peter: I did. He slept with it, now he'll slowly grow to hate it for the next 20 years.

• Permalink: I did. He slept with it, now he'll slowly grow to hate it for the next 20 years.
• Added: February 15, 2015