Family Guy
Sundays 9:00 PM on FOXFamily Guy Season 14 Quotes
Grab that letter opener over there. I'm going to show you why you should never mail cash.
Cleveland
Peter: Is that the one where they make his dress in little shorts and hats like the guy from AC/DC?
Brian: Yeah. Why does he wear that outfit?
Peter: 'Cuz he rocks!
I'd be happy to get you an interview. And as a white woman, you'd be the minority here. Unless you're an alcoholic.
Cleveland
Love is a powerful compass.
Joe
We can make this work, like couples who meet on Craig's List.
Brian
Oh, Brian's a complete dick, we all know that, but I think we're losing sight of the point that Bonnie's a weird slut who's always letting you know she's open for business.
Quagmire
I'm a bigger scumbag than Spock.
Brian
Here, we brought you guys an orchid from Trader Joe's, because we don't know or care about any of your interests.
Peter
That one trip to the petting zoo really messed me up. I saw too much.
Stewie
Glenn Close: Fart.
Brian: Uh..did you say, "fart?"
Glenn Close: Yes. That's me being rather silly.
Stewie: I want you to come inside me while I'm asleep.
Brian: No, don't say it like that.
This isn't a job for the meek, Brian. When you get in there -- you got to be hard.
Stewie
