Friends Season 3 Episode 16: "The One the Morning After" Quotes
No. I can't. You're a totally different person to me now. I used to think of you as somebody that would never, ever hurt me. Ever. God, and now I can't stop picturing you with her. I can't. It doesn't matter what you say or what you do, Ross. It's just changed everything. Forever.Rachel
Ross: This can't be it.
Rachel: Then how come it is?
Ross: (About sleeping with Chloe) Listen, can you keep this information to yourself?
Isaac: Aw, no problem dude. You know we got to look out for each other. We're the same, you and me.
Ross: Actually, no, we're not.
Isaac: Yeah, we are.
Ross: No, we're not.
Isaac: Yeah, we are.
Ross: No, we're not!
Isaac: Okay, we're not.
Isaac: But, we are.
Ross: Fine. I just need to know that you're not gonna tell your sister.
Isaac: I can promise not to tell her again.
Ross: Don't you realize none of this would've ever happened if I didn't think at that same moment you were having sex with Mark?
Rachel: All right. Let's say I had slept with Mark. Would you have been able to forgive me?
Ross: Yes, I would.
Rachel: You'd be okay if you knew that Mark had kissed me, and been naked with me, and made love to me?
Ross: (Hesitating) Yes.
Rachel: If you knew that our hot, sweaty, writhing bodies were...
Ross: (He covers his ears and yells) La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la! Okay, okay, yeah, I would have been devastated but, I would still want to be with you. Because it's, I mean it's you.
Monica: Hey. It's three in the morning. They don't know that I've come home yet. You notice how neither one of them are wondering where I am.
Phoebe: Yeah, you know, people can be so self-involved.
Phoebe: They're gonna get through this, aren't they?
Chandler: Yeah, come on, it's Ross and Rachel, they've got too.
Monica: What if they don't?
(Monica pulls off one of the waxing strips and yells in pain)
Phoebe: Was it not "pain-free"?
Monica: No, it was pain-ful! Oh, my God, they should call it "Pain-zine, now with a little wax."
Ross: (About telling Rachel that he slept with another woman) What is she gonna say when I tell her what I did?
Chandler: Well, before we answer that, I think we should address the more important question. How dumb are you?
Ross: What?! Look, we're trying to rebuild a relationship here, right? How am I supposed to do that without being totally honest with each other?
Joey: Look, Ross, look, I'm on board about this totally honesty thing. I am just not about stuff that's gonna get you in trouble.
Chandler: He's right. Nobody's gonna benefit, and you're just gonna hurt her.
Joey: Yeah, and there won't be a relationship left to rebuild.
Ross: Yeah, but don't you think...
Chandler: All right look, if you absolutely have to tell her, at least wait until the timing's right. And that's what deathbeds are for.