I've been with my share of women... In fact, I've been with a lot of people's share of women.

Joey

Chandler: Hey, anybody know a good tailor?
Joey: Needs some clothes altered?
Chandler: No, no, I'm just looking for a man to draw on me with chalk.
Joey: Why don't you go see Frankie? My family's been going to him forever. He did my first suit when I was 15. No, wait, 16. No, excuse me, 15. All right, when was 1990?
Chandler: Okay, you have to stop the Q-tip when there's resistance!

Chandler: Joey's tailor... took advantage of me.
Ross: What?
Joey: No way, I've been going to the guy for twelve years.
Chandler: Oh come on, he said he was going to do my inseem, then he ran his hand up my leg and then there was definite...
Ross: What? (Chandler closes his eyes)
Chandler: Cupping.
Joey: That's how they do pants! First they go up one side, they move it over, then they go up the other side then they move it back, and then they do the rear. Ross, will you tell him. Isn't that how a tailor measures pants?
Ross: Yes, yes it is... in prison!

Ross: Hey, Paolo. What are you doing here?
Paolo: I do Raquel!

Friends Season 2 Episode 1 Quotes

Joey: How are you doing?
Rachel: I'm okay.
Joey: Ooh, that bad, huh? Look, I can sense when women are depressed and vulnerable. It's one of my gifts.
Rachel: When I saw him get off that plane with her, I really thought I hit rock bottom. But today, it's like there's rock bottom, then fifty feet of crap, then me.

I swear to God, Dad. That's not how they measure pants!

Joey