This may be the real thing, capital R, capital T! (Joey stares blankly) Don't worry, those are the right letters!


Ross: (About his Princess Leia fantasy) Look, that was supposed to be like a private, personal thing between us.
Rachel: Okay, Ross, Phoebe is my girlfriend, okay, we tell each other everything. You know, I mean, come on, guys do the same thing, I mean, what about all that locker room stuff.
Ross: That's different, okay. That's like, uh "Who dated a stripper?" or "Who did it on the back of the Staton Island Ferry?"
Rachel: Were both of those Joey?
Ross: Yeah. Look, you don't, you don't talk about like, you know, your girlfriend and the intimate stuff you, you do with her.
Rachel: Not even with your best friend?
Ross: No!
Rachel: That is so sad. You're missing out on so much, Ross. I mean, the bonding and the sharing, you know. And, and knowing that someone else is going through the same thing you are.
Ross: Hmm. So what, you, you tell each other everything?
Rachel: Pretty much.
Ross: Did you talk about the night of five times? Do you tell people about the night of five times?
Rachel: Uh, honey, that was with Carol.
Ross: I know, but it's still worth mentioning, I think.

Monica: God, look what I found in the drain.
Rachel: What?!
Monica: It's some of Richard's hair! What do I do with this?
Ross: Getting it away from me would be job one.
Monica: It's weird, but you know what? I don't wanna throw this away. I mean this is like all I have left of him... gross, drain hair. Ooh!

Joey: They're not breaking up. Chandler and Janice, they're not breaking up. He didn't blink or anything.
Rachel: Well, you know, I'm not surprised. I mean, have you seen them together? They're really cute.
Joey: Cute? This is Janice.

Janice: I gotta go, I gotta go. Okay, not without a kiss.
Chandler: Well, maybe I won't kiss you, and then you'll have to stay.
Joey: (Under his breath) Kiss her! Kiss her!

Ross: (About Joey wanting to make a plan to break up Chandler and Janice) Well I'm thinking that Chandler's our friend and Janice makes him happy, so I say we just all be adult about it and accept her.
Joey: Yeah, we'll call that Plan B. All right?

Monica: I'm just so tired of missing him. I'm tired of wondering why hasn't he called. Why hasn't he called?!
Phoebe: Maybe, because you told him not to.
Monica: What are you, the Memory Woman?

Ross: You need to get some sleep.
Monica: I need to get some Richard.

(To Ross, who is hallucinating that she is his mother during foreplay) Well what is it? Come on sweetie, your like, freaking me out here.


Janice: (Knocks) Guess who!
Joey: Janice. Hi. You just missed Chandler, but won't you come in before you go?

I said share, not scare. Sit over there.


Joey: So when you dumping her?
Chandler: Nope not this time.
Joey: Come on, quit yanking me.
Chandler: I'm not yanking you.

Friends Season 3 Episode 1 Quotes

(Joey is watching "Wheel of Fortune", the letters read _OUNT RUSH _ORE)
Joey: This guy is so stupid. It's Count Rushmore.
Chandler: You know you should really go on this show.
(Later in this scene)
Chandler: Oh, and by the way, there is no Count Rushmore.
Joey: Yeah? Then who's the guy who painted the faces on the mountain?

Monica: I'm sorry, but that's my happy place.
Phoebe: Well, okay, fine. Use my happy place. Okay, I'm just ... I'm gonna have to ask that you don't move anything in there.
Monica: Okay, I'll try not to.
Phoebe: Okay. All right, so, you're in a meadow, millions of stars in the sky.
Monica: Do you think breaking-up with him was a huge mistake?
Phoebe: Okay, there are no questions in the happy place. Okay? Just the warm breeze, and the moonlight flowing through the trees...
Monica: I'll bet he's totally over me. I'll bet he's fine.
Phoebe: All right, betting and wagering of any kind are, I'm sure, not permitted in the happy place.