Friends Season 1 Episode 3: "The One with the Thumb" Quotes
Phoebe: It's not mine! If I kept it, it would be like stealing!
Rachel: Yeah, but if you spent it, it would be like shopping!
Joey ate my last stick of gum, so I killed him. Do you think that was wrong?
Chandler
Phoebe: There's five hundred extra dollars in my account.
Chandler: Oh, Satan's minions at work again...
Ross: A thumb?
Phoebe: I know. I know. I opened it up, and there is was, just floating in there, like this tiny little hitch-hiker.
Chandler: Maybe it's a contest, you know, like, "collect all five."
Monica: Do you guys ever think Alan might be a little too Alan.
Rachel: No, you can never be too Alan.
Ross: It's his innate Alan-ness that we adore.
Chandler: I could personally stand about a gallon of Alan.
If I bought boots, whenever I walked I would hear, "Not mine, not mine, not mine." And when I was skipping, I would hear, "not-not mine, not-not mine, not-not mine."
Phoebe
Joey: Don't you have any respect for your body?
Ross: Don't you realize what you're doing to yourself?
Chandler: I've had it with you guys and your cancer, your emphysema and your heart disease. The bottom line is, smoking is cool, and you know it.
Joey: (Monica drags in Joey) What's going on?
Monica: Nothing. I just think it's nice when we're all here together.
Joey: Even nicer when everyone gets to wear their underwear.
Monica: I'll meet someone else. There'll be other Alans.
All: Oh, yeah! Right!
Monica: Are you guys going to be okay?
Ross: Hey, we'll be fine. We're just going to need a little time.
Paula: Listen, if that's how you feel about the guy Monica, dump him.
Monica: I know. It's going to be really hard.
Paula: Well, he's a big boy, he'll get over it.
Monica: No, he'll be fine. It's the other five I'm worried about.
Ross: What is this?!
Chandler: I'm smoking. I'm smoking, I'm smoking.
Phoebe: Oh, I can't believe you! You've been so good, for three years.
Chandler: (Showing the cigarette) And this is my reward.
Ross: Hold on a second, all right? Just think about what you went through the last time you quit.
Chandler: Okay, so this time I won't quit.
Monica: Guys, we have to talk.
Phoebe: Wait. I'm getting a deja vu... No, I'm not.
Monica: All right, we have to talk.
Phoebe: There it is!