Last Man Standing Season 7 Episode 11: "Common Ground" Quotes
Mike: Would you rather be polite and uncomfortable or rude and comfortable?
Jen: Can’t you be polite and comfortable?
Mike: Being polite so often requires you to care about what other people are doing and feeling. Being comfortable, sometimes you just do what you want, and other people just deal with it.
Jen: I think I get it. So, if I wanted to be comfortable, I would say, football sucks, soccer rules and I do all my shopping online.
Mike: Sure! Origami is boring, playing football with your feet is stupid, and tea is for old women.
Jen: So, for now on I should just act the way I want and not worry about being polite?
Mike: Yeah. Do whatever you want to do until I say don’t. That is the way it works around here.
Jen: I don’t know much about American football.
Mike: That is about to change, sit down. It’s still the first quarter, and we’re playing the Chargers. The guys in the white helmets with the little lightning bolt, we don’t like them. You got any questions; you just fire them out.
Jen: Why do they wear their face masks? Is that, so they don’t bite each other?
Mike: I don’t know.
Jen: They use their hands much more than they use their feet. Why isn’t it called handball?
Mike: I don’t know.
Jen: Mr. Baxter does it help your team when you wear their blouses?
Mike: They’re actually called jerseys. You know what? We should just watch the game and ask questions at the end.
Chuck: Hey Ed.
Ed: My brother!
Chuck: What is happening?
Ed: I have great news, and I want to share it with one of my people. Chuck, I am black.
Chuck: Wow, Ed that DNA report.
Ed: Has changed my life! Look at this I am 37.5% West African. My people were traced to what is now Nigeria. Where are your people from Chuck?
Chuck: St. Louis. Ed, don’t you find it a little hard to believe you’re black?
Ed: No, this answers everything. You see my father always seems like he was keeping a secret. But now that I know what it was, I finally feel close to him, this is a blessing.
Chuck: Oh God!
Kyle: Hey guys. I am headed home. I just wanted to see how everybody is doing.
Ed: The world is turned upside down Kyle. It turns out I am not black.
Kyle: I am shocked that somebody would mess with your DNA. We’re not scientists.
Ed: You knew!
Kyle: I am sorry Mr. Alzate. I wanted to tell you, but you kept saying you were done listening to the man.
Chuck: I am sorry too Ed, and if it makes you feel any better, it is not easy being a black man in Denver or anywhere.
Ed: Well then, I guess I am back to being Basque.
Kyle: Hey, being Basque is great sir. The history, the traditions, the soup!
Ed: Well that is true. There is one more good thing about being Basque. We can’t be fooled.
Chuck: Uh oh!
Ed: Yeah, turns out Beverly gave me the real test results before you found my report. I am 82% Basque and 100% too smart for you idiots.