Matt: So the whole arms smuggling thing -- was that Vesuvian or just Brennan?
Jay: He was the only one on the take. Apparently he was massively in debt, thanks to our skill in solving conflict with diplomacy instead of shooting wars.
Matt: Go us.

• Permalink: Go us.
• Added: May 01, 2017

Oh yeah, who wants to ride in a helicopter when you can actually talk to somebody on the telephone? Perhaps later, we'll go get phosphates at the drug store and then go to the World's Fair to admire the gramophone.

Jason

• Permalink: Oh yeah, who wants to ride in a helicopter when you can actually talk to somebody on the...
• Added: May 01, 2017

Believe me, I know how scary it is to take a big risk, but sometimes that's the only way to move things forward. Use the connection you already have.

Henry [to Jason]

• Permalink: Believe me, I know how scary it is to take a big risk, but sometimes that's the only way to...
• Added: May 01, 2017

Elizabeth [about Piper]: You know, this is good. She's going against her instincts. Jason's got to get in there and build on the friendship.
Henry: That's not exactly what I told him.

• Permalink: That's not exactly what I told him.
• Added: May 01, 2017

Elizabeth: So where'd you land? Good cop or bad cop?
Henry: Grounded for lying, pancakes for broken heart.

• Permalink: Grounded for lying, pancakes for broken heart.
• Added: May 01, 2017

Henry: Okay, I've got to say something. Two things, actually. One, we're never going to be able to compete with Kuwaiti royalty.
Jason: I know.
Henry: And two, which is way more important, Piper's gonna like who she likes, and it may not make sense, and it might seem like she's betraying who she really is, but you're not gonna change her mind by trying to compete.

• Permalink: And two, which is way more important, Piper's gonna like who she likes, and it may not make...
• Added: May 01, 2017

Jay: You're better when you've had caffeine.
Matt: Dammit. I know. [steals Jay's coffee]

• Permalink: Dammit. I know.
• Added: May 01, 2017

What is this? Are you trying to relive your first year after college? Because that is not a year I want to relive. Mark Meese stole my girlfriend. And ate all my cereal.

Matt [to Jay]

• Permalink: What is this? Are you trying to relive your first year after college? Because that is not a...
• Added: May 01, 2017

Jay: Coming over for the game tonight?
Matt: Dude, no offense, but I can't do another night at your place. I mean...all those metal folding chairs make me feel like I'm at an AA meeting.

• Permalink: Dude, no offense, but I can't do another night at your place. I mean...all those metal...
• Added: May 01, 2017

Jason: It's this graphing calculator for Calc. It's $127.
Elizabeth: For a calculator? Can't you just use a pencil and paper?
Jason: I could. I could also just become a blacksmith and use primitive tools for an obsolete job in a world that no longer exists.

• Permalink: I could. I could also just become a blacksmith and use primitive tools for an obsolete job in...
• Added: May 01, 2017