Gloria [punches guy]: Nobody calls him grandpa!
Luke: I do.

• Permalink: Nobody calls him grandpa! I do?
• Added: February 29, 2012

First of all, that lady is my son.

Jay [about Mitchell]

• Permalink: First of all, that lady is my son.
• Added: February 29, 2012

It smells like puke married poop and they had the ceremony in my nose.

Luke

• Permalink: It smells like puke married poop and they had the ceremony in my...
• Added: February 29, 2012

I always thought of women as the more evolved sex, but after today...I've seen things Jay.

Manny

• Permalink: I always thought of women as the more evolved sex, but after tod...
• Added: February 29, 2012

Doesn't he know that tiptoeing around someone like they're crazy, actually makes them crazy?

Claire

• Permalink: Doesn't he know that tiptoeing around someone like they're crazy...
• Added: February 29, 2012

A month after the most devastating twister to ever hit Cam's hometown, I throw a party based on gay cinema's most famous tornado.

Mitchell

• Permalink: A month after the most devastating twister to ever hit Cam's hom...
• Added: February 29, 2012

It happened. Satan's trifecta. The day I most dreaded had fallen on the day I most loved.

Phil

• Permalink: It happened. Satan's trifecta. The day I most dreaded had fallen...
• Added: February 29, 2012

Okay birthday boy, what's it gonna be, rom-com or horror? Or we could do both and watch Maid in Manhattan.

Mitchell

• Permalink: Okay birthday boy, what's it gonna be, rom-com or horror? Or we ...
• Added: February 29, 2012

I can be spontaneous every 4 years.

Claire

• Permalink: I can be spontaneous every 4 years.
• Added: February 29, 2012