Claire: None of you believe me so I got proof. You should all be sucking it right now!
Gloria: Claire, please, enough with the sucking it! They're children!

Mitchell: The attic? Why?
Luke: At least it's big. Grandpa said you used to live in a closet.

She looks like she was dipped in glue and dragged through a flea market.

Cam [about Lily]

Phil: Guess it's just one of those things that we'll never know, like what really happened to the Titanic.
Claire: It hit an iceberg.
Phil: Maybe.

Sweetheart I would love to be wrong, but I don't live with the right people for that.

Claire

Lily: I push the buttons Daddy!
Cam [in tears]: You sure do!

There are very few parenting issues where I come out on top. I'm distant, I work too much, my french braiding is sloppy. Finally something that's not my fault!

Mitchell

You're not by chance wearing the locket, are you?

Jay [to Manny]

Is it one more year or when you leave for college, because those happen to be two different things.

Alex [to Haley]

Alex: Could you L a little less O L? Can't you see what I'm trying to do here?
Haley: Die alone?

Claire: Could you grab an extra virgin-
Phil: I think one's enough for the sacrifice.

Modern Family Season 3 Episode 2 Quotes

Alex: Could you L a little less O L? Can't you see what I'm trying to do here?
Haley: Die alone?

Claire: Could you grab an extra virgin-
Phil: I think one's enough for the sacrifice.