Guess whose personalized condoms just arrived!

Schmidt

• Permalink: Guess whose personalized condoms just arrived!
• Added: January 17, 2012

Damn it! I can't find my driving moccasins anywhere!

Schmidt

• Permalink: Damn it! I can't find my driving moccasins anywhere!
• Added: January 17, 2012

Schmidt's world is different than ours. They speak a different language. They shorten every word to one syllable. Last month, he went to a party called "Bros Before Hos on the Moon". What does that even mean!?

Nick

• Permalink: Schmidt's world is different than ours. They speak a different l...
• Added: January 17, 2012

Coincidentally, I'm wearing my lap dance pants!

Schmidt

• Permalink: Coincidentally, I'm wearing my lap dance pants!
• Added: January 17, 2012

Schmidt: Tonight was tens across the board. No splash. Nobody's ever done anything like that for me before.
Jess: Anytime, Schmidt. Anytime.

• Permalink: Tonight was tens across the board. No splash. Nobody's ever done...
• Added: January 17, 2012

Benjamin [referring to Jess]: Are you hitting that?
Schmidt: What? No!
Benjamin: Then I think I'll help myself...to sex with your friend.

• Permalink: Are you hitting that? What? No! Then I think I'll help mysel...
• Added: January 17, 2012