Roseanne: Kinda scary talking to your old granny, huh?
Mark: I'm not afraid of you.
Roseanne: Give it time.
Roseanne: So what's up with the girls clothes?
Mark: This just feels like me. I like colors that pop. It's more creative.
I'll take little Braveheart.
Mark: What's for breakfast?
Dan: You better carbo load. I gotta feeling today's gonna be more of a marathon than a sprint.
Dan: I'm totally find with gay. My daughter's gay!
Darlene: Not gay!
Darlene, God did not give me this big of head to have a narrow mind.Dan
Jackie: When I'm home alone sometimes I like to light a few candles, and put on some Prince, and dance in front of the mirror wearing men's boxers, and an old fishing hat.
Darlene: You can get off my side now.
Jackie: You know, as a life coach.
Roseanne: This may be a great time to grab a snack or pee in the yard.
He gets good grades. He's happy, for a Conner. That's all I really care about.Darlene
Dan: Darlene, you talked to Mark about wearing that outfit to school, right? He's gonna get beat up sure as hell.
Darlene: He'll be fine. He wore stuff like that all the time in Chicago.
Roseanne: The musical?
Your father and I had a lunchables party in the middle of the night. You get up to use the bathroom, you end up having another dinner.
Darlene: I miss when you guys were at the same school so you could keep an eye on him.
Harris: I was supposed to keep an eye on him?