Mark: They put me in for one play and I accidentally scored a goal for the other team.
Jackie: The winning goal!
Finally a man bringing me something I really want.
Dan: Did you make the appointment for your knee surgery yet?
Roseanne: You know how doctors are, Dan. They say they can see you in a month and then when you tell them you can't stand the pain any longer they say, "We'll see you in a month."
Mom's yelling fine in the bathroom and I'm not going in.Darlene
Margarita on the house for the old married couple.Becky
Roseanne: This is our 45th anniversary and I get to talk.
Dan: She's finally coming out of her shell everybody.
Sometimes you just gotta suck it up and put your family first.Dan
Dan: Does Madam approve?
Roseanne: Hell yeah Madam approves!
I just found out I hate my mother which is really weird because I love my mother.Crystal
I gotta be honest Darlene. I don't know how you can pass on a job with full benefits.Dan
I'm gonna give your back a reason to flare up.
So because you have kids my problems aren't as important as yours?Becky