Scrubs Season 5 Episode 8: "My Big Bird" Quotes
J.D.'s Narration: After a day like today, there's really only one thing you can do.
(Cut to a bar with J.D., Elliot, Turk and Carla present)
J.D.: (Making a toast) To bad radiologists!
Dr. Cox: (Entering) Wait, wait, let me get in on this. Let's also have a toast to Mr. Foster's widow and his fatherless kids. (Raises his beer bottle and drinks)
Elliot: Dr. Cox, it wasn't our fault!
Dr. Cox: No, because you were lucky. You know as well as I do that it could have been any one of your faults. Congrats again. Have a, eh, have a swell party. (Walks out)
J.D.'s Narration: It's never easy when someone accuses you of screwing up...especially when you know it's true.
J.D.: Why ostriches?
Mr. Sutton: They're such majestic creatures, don't you think? And, you know, they're kind of like my children. (Removing belt and displaying it for J.D.) Plus, I make belts out of their necks.
J.D.: Elliot, would you do me a favor and cover Mr. Foster for me? I have to go Mr. Sutton's house and get the thank you I deserve.
Carla: You are so obsessing about this.
Turk: It's like the time you you were convinced the cafeteria workers were giving you small waffles. How'd that work out for you?
J.D.: They waffle-ironed my foot. But, this different, buddy. Look, I need a ride.
J.D.: Oh, pass, huh? Well, this is what happened last time you passed.
(J.D. presents his waffle-ironed foot)
Turk: Okay. Put the foot away. Put the waffle foot away.
J.D.: Sooo, Mr. Sutton. When you came in with heartburn, I bet you thought I'd kick your butt right outta here. But, not this guy. I admitted you and I stayed up all night studying your EKG because I had a hunch...and no girlfriend. But, it was mostly the hunch thing. And, that hunch paid off because if I hadn't found that blocked artery you'd be dead right now.
J.D.'s Narration: And here comes the gratitude. The two words every doctor lives to hear.
Mr. Sutton: Later, Dude.
Sorry I'm late. I got the keys to my Miata stuck in the cadaver.Doug
J.D.: Did you try to escape?
Turk: I did escape. There was one waiting in the car.
Mr. Sutton: That's Leon. Loves the car rides.
Turk: Can I admit something to you? I kinda missed not getting my hug today.
J.D.: Here comes your vanilla bear!
J.D. leans over to hug him
Turk: J.D., J.D, oh J.D.
J.D. falls out of the tree
J.D.'s narration: So a patient was a dead and one of us was going to be blamed.
Turk's cell phone of dramatic music plays
J.D.: Dude, you've got to change that ring.
Turk: You think so, huh? (Into phone) Mom, not now.
J.D.: Don't be such a baby! It's a magnetic image. I apologize Mr. Foster. I'm a little upset. My scooter, Sasha, was assassinated this morning.
Turk: Yeah, he was so attached to that thing. He used to wear a bracelet that said "Sasha forever".
J.D.: Come on, Turk. It was just a joke. And I only wore it for one week.
J.D.'s wrist hits the machine
J.D.: Ok so I still wear the bracelet.
It's never easy when someone accuses you of screwing up, especially when you know it's true. When that happens you can't track it off, because in a hospital the best way to learn from your mistakes is to carry them with you...J.D.'s Narration
J.D.: (Speaking at the microphone) This whole experience got me thinking about the nature of gratitude. I guess in the end, whether you're a doctor or a garbage man-
Dr. Kelso: Dorian! What are you doing?
I've been making out with a married man while his sick child slept a few feet away. Oh my god! I've become my mother!Elliot