Scrubs Season 4 Episode 20: "My Boss' Free Haircut" Quotes
Carla: I just know I really could've used you around this week! I miss you.
Turk: Can you tell her I miss her too? You know what, never mind. Because she wouldn't believe you.
Miss Goldman: What now, Grampa?!
Dr. Kelso: You are going to shut your damn yapper and listen for a change, because I got you pegged, sweetheart. You want to take the easy way out with the surgery because you're scared. You're scared because if you try and fail, there's only you to blame. Well, Missy, let me break this down for you, Bobbo-style. Life is scary. Get used to it.
Dr. Kelso busts the door down again
Turk: Sir, the door was open!
Dr. Kelso: I know. I just love doing that.
Carla: I'll just wait here with you!
Elliot: Oh, Carla, go! I'm fine down here in this giant, fresh... empty grave.
Carla: Okay bye!
I spoke to the groundskeeper! He'll come over as soon as he finishes burying Paul Newman!... Different Paul Newman, I asked.Carla
Turk: So you're my gastric bypass. You got any questions?
Miss Goldman: Nope. See you in the O.R. tomorrow.
Turk: I'll be the one with the mask on. That's how easy marriage should be!
J.D.: I won't be there, but I'm sure it would be nice operating on you.
First my parents get divorced, now you and Carla are all messed up. What's the common denominator? J.D.! I should get business cards that say "Love Destroyer".J.D.
Dr. Kelso: Hello young lady! I went ahead and set an appointment up for you with our nutritionist who's going to help you create a diet and exercise plan so I never have to see you in here again!
Miss Goldman: Yeah... I'm having a gastric bypass.
Dr. Kelso: But, Miss Goldman, you're only twenty five. And considering that any serious surgery has inherit risks, I really don't think-
Miss Goldman: How are you not getting this?! I don't care what you think!
Elliot: What do you mean, "Say Hooch"?
Hooch: Oh my god! What?! I'm a little busy!
Elliot: Uh... I'm sorry, I'm not really sure what's happening right now.
Hooch: Well of course you're not! Because in your head it's all about you, isn't it? Well no more! Say "hooch" again, it will be the last thing you ever say!
J.D.'s Narration: Still, even if you end up with a hangover that would slay a walrus, it's all worth it. Especially when you know that at this very moment your best friend is at lunch saving his marriage.
Turk: What time is it?
J.D.'s Narration: Or he missed it.
Dr. Kelso: Dammit, young lady, LET ME IN! THIS IS MY HOSPITAL!
Dr. Cox: Hey Booob! What's shaking in Patientville?
Dr. Kelso: Ohh... just trying to keep myself from spending all day in there with her. Such a doll!
Dr. Cox: Awww... You Bob!
Barber: That'll be eighteen dollars.
Dr. Kelso: Oh, I'm not paying. I'm a doctor!
Barber: Yeah... we don't do that anymore. You're paying.
Dr. Kelso gets up and runs out the door
J.D.'s Narration: You still have to try, though. Because as a recently incarcerated doctor once said, "Nothing worth having comes easy."