Scrubs Season 4 Episode 6: "My Cake" Quotes
J.D.: And it's our dad, and he's ranting and raving because he's an office supply salesman and he can't find a paper clip in the entire house.
Dan: Meanwhile, he gets to work the next morning, and he realises he's got a million of 'em in the trunk of his car.
Turk: Baby, I got diabetes.
Carla: Oh no, Turk, really?
Carla: I call this "Turk's Diabetes Box."
Dr. Cox: You know, when my father died, all I could focus on was how he was never there, but you - you're lucky, you've got some positive stuff you can dwell on - throw the ball, Jackass!
Dan: He is a jackass.
I gotta tell you little brother, you were always the apple of Dad's eye... you know, that's the worst thing about college football, the male cheerleaders - ooh, God, that's a chick.Dan
J.D.: Oh my God! I'm sorry about the "Wash Me!" thing!
Dr. Cox: Put that on.
Dan enters with beer
J.D.: Dan? You were out with him? I thought you'd dissolved.
Molly: Well, Carla calls you her "Superman," and you love that... but diabetes makes you feel vulnerable, and you're afraid if you're open with her about it, you won't be her Superman anymore.
Turk: Yeah. Devil Woman. Sorry.
Turk: I want to apologize to you for that whole "Devil Woman" thing. I promise you, I will never call you that again.
Molly: It's okay. I mean, I can understand why you're uncomfortable around me. I sometimes do see everyone as a patient.
Turk: You know, surgeons do that, too. C'mon, let's see who's better at it. Hip replacement.
A man with a "Foam Dome" helmet.
Molly: Alcoholic. That was easy.
A heavy man enters.
Turk: Quadruple bypass. Two on me!
Molly: Constantly trying to validate herself so she'll sleep with anyone.
Charice: Hey, Turk.
Turk: What's up, Charice. Uh, but that, that was before Carla.
Dr. Cox: And I have got to believe that the two of us, together - together, Dan - we can make it at least half-way to one legitimate adult.
Dan: You're right, Coxy. Dammit, Coxsmith! Crybaby time is over! The kid needs us, and he needs us now, right?
Dr. Cox: Towel.
Dan: Thank you. Let's rock and roll!
Dr. Cox: Look, Dan -
Dan(points at his "beard"): Captain Bubblebeard. Avast, matey! Shut yer scupper and bare yer steel, we should be seeing la-AAH -
Dr. Cox pushes his head under the water. He gets back up without the "beard"
Dr. Cox: There. Now you're Dan again.
Dr. Cox: Hey! Where's your brother?
Dan: J.D.!... He's not here.
Dr. Kelso: Ahh!
Ted: Thanks again for inviting me to your house for dinner.
Dr. Kelso: I did?
Ted glances up. The Janitor points at him and mouths "Yes."
Ted: Yes, sir, you did.
I smell cake! If Uncle Bernie died, someone's gonna have to go on a beer run!Dan