Scrubs Season 5 Episode 17: "My Chopped Liver" Quotes
(Dr. Cox is drinking a glass of scotch)
Dr. Zeltzer: Oh...oh..Slow down there, Big Guy!!
Dr. Cox: Why, Zeltzer? It's not like I'm driving.
Dr. Zeltzer: I know. But there's a roofie in it.
(Dr. Cox faints)
Jordan: I'm not sure if I'm okay with that!!
Dr. Zeltzer: Three... Two.. One!!
Mrs. Zeltzer: Party Time.
Dr. Cox: I have no answers for any of you.
Gloria: But my boyfriend is Bi-curious and he wants me to pick his lovers.
Dr. Cox: I might have an answer for that, Ewwww.
Dr. Kelso: Nurse Espinosa, I need your help with something. My dog, Baxter, passed away last night. I dealt with it emotionally but, unfortunately, I can't stop crying. Anyway, I need you to run interference for me today; keep people from seeing me looking vulnerable and so forth.
Carla: So, you think I'll automatically do this? You think my ego is so big that I'll be flattered that I'm the only one you can open up to? I'll do it.
Carla: At least you stopped crying.
Dr. Kelso: Not really. My body just can't produce tears anymore because I've intentionally dehydrated myself. It's a risky move, I know, but Dr. Jarvis here said it'd be alright.
Carla: There's nobody standing behind you.
Dr. Kelso: I'm going to need an IV.
Turk: Mothers and daughters... they speak so fast, but they speak so true.
Turk: Did you see it?
J.D.: I'm so mad at Lorelai, I can't even talk right now.
Please don't make me go out for drinks with Barbie and - yes, I know, it's way too easy - Ken!Dr. Cox
Jordan: You know one of the reasons I divorced Perry was because of his last name.
Elliot: You don't like Cox?
Jordan: Actually I love Cox.
Todd: Greatest conversation ever.
Jordan: See, that's the problem.
Woman: This sausage is huuuuuuge.
Todd: 'cuse me ladies, I'm needed elsewhere.
Elliot: The only problem is his last name. It's Dudemeister.
Jordan: Oh that doesn't even sound real.
Elliot: Well it's actually German, "Du-de-meister", it means master of dudes.